Sam’s Hangout #122 - “LOVE & FAMILY”

Hello friends , Happy Weekend

!How important is your partner's family's acceptance to you when it comes to marriage

Marriage is an institution that hasn't produced a graduate. A very sensitive and delicate institution that humbles the high and mighty and teaches us lessons in different ways. However it is a wonderful establishment from God that was meant to be beautiful and relishing where love, perseverance and forgiveness is the order of the day.

My husbands family's acceptance is very important to me when it comes to marriage because of the following reasons.

First, no man is an island and it is better to walk with people than walk alone. This is because my husband will never be there all day. Therefore, the acceptance of his family is vital to protect me and my interest, see to the family's growth and unity.

Secondly, in marriage, my husband is not the only decision maker when it comes to extended family matters and even in some immediate family decisions where an advice is needed, hence his family's acceptance will go a long way to solidiy and enforce unity of purpose and progress for the entire family.

However, I also make sure that there is set boundaries in the marriage. In as much as I respect their opinion in raised family discussions, I do not allow a situation of lording it over me or a winner takes all. There's always a win-win balance in our activies and fair hearing.

We discuss family concerns, visions and set goals, attend scheduled family meetings respect my inlaws and allow them have their way to the best of my ability but not to accept things that will spoil my peace. Though there are situations were we may disagree to agree which is normal in live but respecting each others boundaries has helped us to thrive peacefully.

Do you believe your partner's love alone is enough to sustain your union, or can family differences have a lasting impact on its success?

No, because a tree cannot make a forest, a drip of water also cannot make an ocean, therefore a united front and the love of my husbands family will be the ingredient I need to thrive successfully in my marriage

Once upon a time, my husband needed to make a huge purchase because of a supply he had. It took the effort of the family and united front to make it happen.

Imagine they were not in support of the marriage, we will struggle and maybe he will lose the supply.

There are so many instances where they will come in to support in their way and we do reach out to support others when such duty calls.

In conclusion, marriage is a big institution and institutions do not thrive alone, they have branches, wings, and departments that make it up so also is the marriage.
When it tilts towards isolation, there will be many struggle ,chaos ,and bickering here and there. But when the components and branches work together, there will be a happier, healthier and united fronts with great progress.

Thank you

I call you @ivyann
@ijebest
@ekeke
@sarahbaby
@luchrl

I will like to hear your view on this one oh.

Hello everyone 🤠
Trust y'all are doing good 😊

Wanted to drop my 2cent before my network starts its whatever again 😁

I.

Now, marriage they say is between two people, but in the real sense it is between two families who have decided to love and choose each other. Because how can you as a bride or groom go ahead with a marriage when you know your family don't accept your partner. In simple terms, your partner will just be living in hell no matter what he or she does. How comfortable will it be for him or her when you're having a family gathering, a celebration or something that requires you both to be there, how comfortable will he or she feel. Love u agree is the foundation, but then there's something about acceptance too, acceptance strengthens that foundation. Also, they'd say love is above all things, and even though that is true, when there's constant interference, hostility, rejections and many more, love is bond to wear off. To build a happy and lasting marriage, both partners should be accepted, loved, and welcomed by each others family.

II.

About this, I would say it depends. I almost wrote no. Because huhm... But then, I felt if their reasons for disliking me is due to an assumption or misunderstanding that can be resolved and looked into, then I will do my best to make them see things the way it is. But if their dislike or hatred does not have a head or a tail, is unreasonable and my partner as well refuses to address it and make them see things, then I wouldn't even waste my time to prove any point. There's a Yoruba saying that says, "Aya burúkú ṣeé fẹ́, àná burúkú ni kò ṣeé ṣàní" meaning, "you can marry a difficult wife, but living with difficult in-laws is another challenge entirely."

Marriage is not easy even without all of those dramas. So, why add more to it.
I believe in such a situation, my partner has more work to do, and if she's willing to help out, then why not, but if she's not seeing, doing or saying anything about it... Then it's just best to let go .

Thank you for your attention to this matter 🫡

@afrikens
@betheloji12
@nkemakonam89
@soma18
@zali.bee
@van.illa
@goldenproject
@amara24

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@chefqueen

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We are here again 😊
Happy weekend, Fams ❤️

@afrikens
@betheloji12
@nkemakonam89
@soma18
@zali.bee
@van.illa
@goldenproject
@amara24
@chefqueen

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Thank you for reading and viewing this post

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omo...it's important that there is a mutual agreement and consent between the two families involved before marriage , if not , don't put your head yet....las las ,you go no say no be only your husband go marry you ...instances go come when family members will be needed and if they are not with you...ur name na sorry

my immediate elder brother had a painful experience over this ...so yea, no matter the love, just ensure the family member is in support first before saying "I do"

That's all I can say for now

Daalu nu oo😌

This question was among the ones we discussed during a seminar in church last Sunday, and I'll keep my answer as simple and short as I did when answering the others. For me, the lady's family must accept me because I'm not marrying their daughter alone; I'm also marrying into their family, which will make us all as one. So if they do not accept me, that is already a loss for me and her because instead of our family becoming one, there will be divisions, no unity, which might eventually break the family apart. Because so far the her family are still alive, she will definitely need their help at some point in life, maybe for advice, and God forbid something bad happens; that is when issues will start coming up. So for me, if I have seen the signs of them being hostile, I will reconsider straight up before I start seeing wonders.
That is my 2cent.

Come and add your 3cent

@afrikens
@nkemakonam89
@soma18
@zali.bee
@van.illa
@amara24
@chefqueen
@treasuree

Let's get the weekend started

First and foremost, there is no marriage when there is no acceptance.
Marriage is not all about love alone between partners as love has its own percentage in marriage while other factors too hold significant percentage as well on having a happily ever after and that's where the families have a hold in it. It's not compulsory that there's a fight btw the couples before marriage can be difficult most especially as an African woman. ILE AYE ATI ILE OKO MA SU E

If there's any sign of hostility from my partner's family, there is no way I'm keeping mute about it and if eventually it's not sorted that I can feel for myself that I am accepted, then it's a no-go area.

@zali.bee @chefqueen @therichking been a while king
Oya come and hold mic

Good day and happy weekend, my country people. I trust that you're doing great.

Let me respond to the first question.

Marriage is a beautiful union when with the right one(including family members). As Africans where family interference in marriage is usually experienced, because you're getting married to other members of the family, not just your spouse alone. It is wise to consider family acceptance before going to marriage, because, whether we like it or not their acceptance is necessary for peace to reign directly or indirectly.

Before I got married, I made a decision that before I agree to marry any man that I find pleasing , his family must accept me and mine must accept him too, because I understood that love alone isn't enough. There'll always be occasions that require families coming together. Also, we would at some point need each other's help, as we can't deny the fact that no man is an island. One can not disassociate from one's family because of marriage. It doesn't make sense to me.

It's true that misunderstanding would sometime arise in family and there would always be a way to resolve it but it shouldn't call for isolation due to family's acceptance issues. So, to me family acceptance in marriage is very necessary.

Thanks everyone and have a fantastic weekend.

I think ultimately, family is part of everyone.
You can barely separate a person from their family.

It's will always be important that your partner's family likes and accepts you. I feel like it adds to an enjoyable and long lasting marriage

Good evening friends, I have have been so busy today, but I was attracted by the tags, thanks for always tagging me.

So let me go for the second question. Would I Still Marry If My Partner's Family Dislikes Me?

My answer to that question is a big yes. I’m a living witness to it.

When I was about to get married, my mother in law disliked me for no reason. I was thinking maybe she felt I was going to “steal her son’s love.” There was hostility, coldness, and later, instigation from her and her daughters.

But there was also another side. My father in law loved me deeply. He treated me like his own daughter and “worshipped the ground I stepped on.” He had the qualities I admired most, he's kind, respectful, humbl, and love his family.

When I looked at my father in law, I would see the kind of man his son could become. I believed those same values were in my husband. And that was what influenced my decision.

I was blessed to have my own family who loved my husband to stupor. That love became our shield. Marriage is not just two people, it’s two families. Having even one person on the other side who supports you makes a big difference.

I knew facing hostility would be painful. And it was trust me. After I lost my father in law 3 years later, the “headaches” from my mother in law got worse. But I asked myself, “Is this a problem we can manage together, or will it destroy us?” We chose to manage it together.

We decided to build our own home with love, respect, and boundaries. We don’t cut people off, but we don’t allow disrespect to break us either. Even though my mother in law try to put us apart shaa.

It hasn’t been easy. But we are waxing strong. With God, with my husband, and with the love from my family, we made it.

If your partner’s family is hostile to you, don’t ignore it. But ask yourself,
Does my partner choose me and defend our peace?
Do we have values and support that can carry us?
Am I marrying the person, not just the family?

It is true that marriage don’t thrive in isolation. But sometimes, when one or two “branches” are broken, other branches which is love, faith, your partner’s loyalty, your own family, can hold you up until the tree grows stronger.

For me, choosing my husband was the best choice of my life. Yes oooo, I must confess that the struggle was real, but the love we had for each other was realer lol.

Na so e be. @amara24 @ozibaby @kachy2022 @zusi78 gba 🎤

Like Sarah mentioned, marriage is a beautiful decision but only when done with wisdom. One of the pillars of every marriage is support from close friends and family. If there is none, there obviously will be some challenges.

I can’t think of a life where my love lies with a family that doesn’t accept me the way I have accepted their child. If there’s any form of hatred or hostility, it would be worth discussing with my partner. But then again, I wouldn’t even go ahead with marrying them as long as I know how their family feels about me. My peace of mind is important. Plus, I’d like to be in good terms with the family I’m marrying into.

However, if my partner is justly separated from his family by will, I’ve got no problem. I mean, no contact, no worries!