Sam’s Hangout #109 - “COHABITATION OR COMMITMENT?”
Hello, my lovely Hive Naija people. It’s another beautiful weekend, and we’re excited to have you here once again. A new weekend simply means another chance to buzz the Hive blockchain, connect with one another, and simply have fun. You'll also agree with me that there’s something special about bringing everyone together to gist, share opinions, and enjoy good vibes. That is exactly the reason we will continue to meet every weekend.
OBJECTIVE
Sam's Hangout is focused on promoting the togetherness of the Nigerian brethren through active engagement on the blockchain. Beyond that, it is also centered towards the wellbeing of everyone who takes part in our weekend discussions and helps keep our discord running with their presence.
Note that this account was created to make the engagement more personal and official. You can check out the INTRODUCTION POST to learn more about our purpose and vision.
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Our previous topic was ”VOTING AND TRUST"
The responses were super amazing and we had over 150+ comments filled with honest opinions, jokes, harmless banter, and fresh perspectives to learn from. The energy was truly contagious. Now, let’s see if we can beat our all-time high again this weekend, shall we? Please try to encourage responses by replying to one another. Remember, engagement is what makes this hangout special.
HOW OUR WEEKEND HANGOUT WORKS
A topic will be dropped every Friday on this account. Do well to share your thoughts, respond to someone else’s opinion, and feel free to interrogate or add more context on it respectfully. If you don’t have anything new to add, simply reply to another comment in agreement. We encourage you to tag your friends to join the discussion so we can have a fuller house.
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COHABITATION OR COMMITMENT?
Now to our discussion for this weekend! We will be discussing "COHABITATION OR COMMITMENT?”.
Cohabitation before marriage has become a common topic of debate, especially among young couples trying to understand what truly builds a long-lasting relationship. While some see it as a non-negotiable, practical approach in learning more about their partners and testing for deeper emotional connection and compatibility, others question whether it can ever be a reliable path to long-term commitment. The varying perspectives both online and offline have put people on different divides, but the most important thing is analyzing
what truly works, so others can take a cue if need be.
Here’s the question!
If you have a topic you would like us to discuss in our future hangouts, please feel free to suggest it to us in the comment section and tag @sam.hangout to it.
Okay Let's Gist!!!
Don't you think we are forgetting somebody?... Well, I'm sure we are...
FRIDAY PLANS, OWANBE SATURDAY, AND SUNDAY REFLECTIONS
To make our hangout more interactive, we have decided to add two events to spice it up.
On Saturdays, we share our owanbe stories, party gists, and even pictures.
On Sundays, we reflect on the weekend and things we learnt so far, as well as share plans for the new week.
Don't forget to join us!!
There are no strict rules as regards this weekend hangout. Feel free to speak any Nigerian language you like, whether Igbo, Yoruba, pidgin, Efik, or others, as long as it can be understood.
With all that said, let the discussion begin...
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Good evening Fams ❤️
We go again ✌️
We are ready
Good 👍
Only God's knows how many times I've refreshed this page today 😁...
😂 I understand
The post also came up late so I guess that's why
Exactly 💯
Oya o
@afrikens
@zali.bee
@chefqueen
@goldenproject
@mikechrist
@van.illa
Leggo o
Come with your tithe and offering
When did you steal my job 😏, avoid offering money Oga
Thought you've resigned
This woman 😂
They said we should not pay your tithe again 😜
Who said that 🤦
Pay offering then
Hello everyone 👋
Now, let me be honest with y'all. This is something I've done before. Meaning I won't be talking from something I read somewhere but from my own lived experience. And in all honesty, I will never do it again. Some might have done it and it worked for them, but me o, it's a no no.
Now, while living together, you get to be close and know things about each other. You see each other every day, you get to understand each other's moods, you know how he/she snores, and it can as well expose things to you, things like anger issues and how they manage it, things like spending habits, things like cleanliness and dirtiness... You get to see it via cohabiting together, cos things like that are like smoke, they can't be hidden for so long. So, that way it tends to test compatibility.
But then, coahabiting together can as well create a false sense of security, in the sense that you don't just feel, but you as well start acting like a married couple without doing the necessities. You will agree with me that cohabiting can't go on for long without sharing one's body with the other(sex). So, you give your time, your body, your energy, you finance... Your everything to it.
And for me, it didn't help me build at all, I thought it would help build a good and strong foundation, but it didn't. That was why I said earlier that it might work for others, but it's a no no for me. Because it only made things worse and a lot more complicated at the end of the day. I would have loved to share the story, but o long. I wouldn't have called it cohabiting, but at the end of the day, it is still cohabiting. This lady had some issues and we were dating back then, so she was forced to leave her place, most of her friends staying near as well aren't staying alone, so I decided to take her, and that was how we began to stay together then till she will secure her own place.... And it opened my eyes to a lot of things, some which I could still even bear, and some like (infidelity/cheating) that I couldn't even bare. Got to an extent that she started calling this guy's name when she wants to call me 😂😁😂... Lemme not say too much.
And as a Christian, I know it's out of it. It is not acceptable in any way, but to keep it neutral, based on what I have seen, I can say coahabiting is not a foolproof way to guarantee a lasting marriage.
Well, seems this is directed at the women, but then we will all agree that it all starts from... "Ok, let's stay together." And from staying together you start doing various duties and household chores, you sweep, mop, wash, cook, support and all....in short you start acting like the wife/spouse that you're not....
And like I said earlier, seems this is directed at the women as they are the ones who get to do all of that, they began to adjust their lives, reschedule their schedules, sacrifice and most times put their lives, business, academic and such on hold in the name of... "I'm building with him" while there's no legal backing to your stress and all that you claim to be building.
And I can say that the disadvantage outweighs the advantage in every way... Even where rules are set and boundaries are defined, the disadvantage still outweighs the advantage, because it's not as if you won't be pouring into the "union" at all. It will definitely affect some of your decisions.
It's a risky path to tread, and like I said earlier, this is coming from my own personal experience... One that I've learned from.
@afrikens
@betheloji12
@amara24
@zali.bee
@chefqueen
@goldenproject
@mikechrist
@van.illa
Take mic o 🎤
🏃🏃🏃
HL post 😂😂
Lemme finish eating, I will come back to this 😂
Abi inkwell 👀, see her head 😁
You cannot invite somebody's son to coman join you 🤨
As in . Just put tag and submit oo
Omo!!! Everywhere don full oo.
Where make others write their own, Ehn ?
He no full...
Space dey... let's hear from you 😉
Happy Weekend, Everyone 🥰
Same to you 😊
Far Farrrrr the disadvantages outweigh the advantages o. What advantages sef dey there
This whole cohabitation is just a simple explanation or comparison. You were supposed to be presented a gift for your birthday in November and we are still in February, but then you were the one who went to get the gift at the market yourself in this same Feb (you had the right partner you love willingly and out of real emotions) and then you started living and seeing the gift everyday, opening and seeing it...
If you like cohabit for 20yrs, it still doesn't validate the fact that you will know your partner well enough. He or she go do one thing and u go still shock say this person ma black market.
Why will you bear the burden of sin of your cross before the time? Do you want your cup to runneth over?
Sleep dey cohabit me.. See you guys tomorrow
@goldenproject @mathewdaddywah @marsdave who have you cohabited with? If you LIE?
OMG 😂😁😂😁😂
It's weekend.
We're here again.
Happy weekend people of this hangout.
I think cohabitation can help some couples, but it’s not foolproof for a lasting marriage. And yes, it can also create risk, especially when expectations aren’t aligned. Whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages depends less on “cohabiting vs not” and more on why you’re doing it and howyou handle it.
Where cohabiting helps:
Reality check on compatibility. You learn how they handle dirty dishes, money stress, sickness, in-laws, and bad moods at 7am. Dating is performance. Living together is behind the scenes. Lots of couples find deal breakers they wouldn’t see otherwise — finances, cleanliness, sleep habits, boundaries with family. Better to know before marriage.
Shared systems. You practice conflict, budgeting, chores, and decision-making as a team. If you can run a household together without resentment, that’s a real foundation.
I do support it for couples who are intentional about it. If both people treat it as “marriage prep” with clear timelines and conversations — not just “let’s save rent” — it can build depth.
Where it’s not foolproof:
So do disadvantages outweigh benefits?
Not automatically. The disadvantage is ambiguity, not cohabitation itself.
Practical take: If you’re going to cohabit, treat it like a contract, even if it’s not legal:
Do this if you cohabit why it matters.
Talk timelines- “Are we testing for marriage? For how long?” 1-2 years max, or it becomes indefinite.
Don’t play spouse without commitment If you’re doing 100% of wife/husband duties, ask why. You can share labor without losing yourself. Check legal realities -In Nigeria, cohabitation doesn’t grant spousal rights. Know what happens if someone dies, gets sick, or leaves.
Decide, don’t slide- Move in because you chose to, not because a lease ended. And decide on marriage vs breakup consciously, not by default.
My stance: I support cohabiting when it’s intentional, time-bound, and both people keep their independence. I don’t think it’s foolproof. Plenty of people cohabit and still divorce. Plenty skip it and have great marriages. The stronger predictor of lasting marriage is mutual, explicit commitment and how you handle conflict, not your address before the wedding.
For women especially: cohabitation shouldn’t mean surrendering autonomy. If you find yourself doing all the marital labor with none of the security, that’s not a “test” — that’s a bad deal. The benefits disappear if you you are the only one investing.
@daverick, @goldenproject and @sarababy take mic 🎤 ooo.