The strange door

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(Edited)

Isaac gazed at the portrait fixed to the sparkling wall made of white glimmering tiles. He slowly walked around the beautiful museum which he had heard so much about.

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"Hey watch it, you ignorant dude." A stranger said to him as they bumped into eachother. Isaac was lost in the euphoria of the beautiful antiques; glaring, and envisaging before he rammed into the stranger.

"I told you! We've just got some bunch of weird literates around here." Jake, Isaac's best buddy, said to him upon witnessing the incident which had just occurred between Isaac and the stranger.

A gigantic shadow was cast upon the portrait which they both had their gaze on.

"Jeez!" Jake exclaimed, frantically turning back.

"Relax, it's my shadow" the museum attendant who stood behind both friends calmly said.

"Hey I'm Donny, but you could call me Don" he stretched out his hands for a shake as his cheeks thinned into a warm friendly smile.

"Oh it's cool, that was just really creepy." Isaac replied, accepting his hand gesture... meanwhile, Jake took in deep breaths still trying to recover from the shock.

"Let me show you around. You know, show you some little secrets" Don winked at them.

They walked behind him as he slowly led the way.

"Do you believe in ghosts?" Don suddenly turned back to both friends with his hands crossed behind his back.

"Ummmm...."

"Yes, you do!" Don cut in, pointing what seemed like a magical wand at Jake who was about giving an answer.

"What about you?" He turned to Isaac leaning his face forward, as he stared directly into his eyes."

"Never really seen one but I think do." Isaac took a few step backwards away from Don who invaded his personal space.

"This place they say, was once hunted by inexplicable forces... Supernatural beings" He gestured with his hands, spinning and thrusting his body in different directions as he spoke to both friends who seemed more afraid of him than of his ghost tales.

"What's that?" Isaac pointed sideways, towards a door at the far end of a corridor situated at the the narrow hallway

"Ohhh you mean the door with the 'keep out' sign?" He chuckled "Now, that's Where the spirits were locked up. We..."

"Sorry, Mr Don, I'll need to have a few words with you." A woman dressed in a black suit interrupted.

"Oh! Sure ma'am I was just lecturing our guests on history."

"Now if you excuse me, I'll be right back." He tapped Isaac on the nose with his index finger and playfully scurried off while laughing.

"He's crazy" Isaac said.

"For sure" Jake added while nodding in agreement.

Their gaze met each other as though an idea had popped into their head, and they simultaneously took a left turn towards the door with the 'Keep out' sign. They both had the same thing in mind — to discover if the tales of the attendant were made-up delusions.

As soon as Isaac opened the door, they were both catapulted inside, into a dark void.

"Damn!" Isaac held his head in distress for a moment. He got up from the floor where he passed out.

"What happened?" He whispered to himself.

He slowly turned around the room enclosure which had neither an exit nor an entrance. The floor and walls were designed with white tiles similar to the ones at the museum.

"Jake?" "Jakeee!!!" He screamed frantically, realizing he was trapped in God-knows-where.

"You shouldn't scream like that you know." A voice behind him muttered.

He gasped, turning to see who it was — it was his late Dad.

"Dad? Is — is that really you?" His voice cracked up.

"It was all your fault that I ended like this." His Dad angrily spoke.

Isaac scrolled his eyes up and down observing his Dad's look — he had the same appearance as he did few moments before his death: Torn jeans, no shoes and a white T-shirt smeared with a lot of blood.

Isaac suddenly recalled moments from their last trip together, just before the road accident...

He sat at the backseat while his Dad drove yelling and complaining. "If you had listened to me and not attended that party, you wouldn't have gotten into a brawl with that student, now you could face expulsion..."

His Dad kept on yelling before he turned back at his teen son, losing track of the incoming vehicle in front. Within seconds, their car rolled in the air. He pictured the scene in slow motion — the inaudible mouthing of words, the flinging of arms to maintain balance while strapped to their seatbelts. The next thing he could remember was his violent screams as he watched his Dad being rushed into an ambulance with blood smeared on his white T-shirt...

"I— I'm sorry Dad" he replied after the sudden flashes. "I— I didn't..."

"You did this too meee!!" his Dad who got more infuriated said, pointing and walking towards Isaac who took a step backwards for every step his old man took.

"You did this to me! you did this to me!!"

"Dad please... stop" he pleaded with a cracked broken voice while tears brimmed his eyes.

Isaac couldn't keep up with the guilt so he cowered, shut his eyes, and cupped his palms over his ears while whimpering.

There was a sudden silence. Isaac opened his eyes and it met with the gaze of a Man who stared at him in his cowering position — it was Don.

It was then Isaac realized he was at the front of the mysterious door with the "keep out" sign. He scrambled backwards on the floor in an attempt to get as far away as possible from Don.

"What did they tell you?" Don asked as his face slowly transitioned into a creepy smile.

Isaac got up and ran past him. Just as he was about approaching the exit, he rammed into Jake.

"Isaac?" Jake seemed surprised.

"Jake?" Isaac replied.

They both hugged each other. "I don't know man but something's not right around here. I saw my late Mum in our fucking living room. Then some minutes later, I'm right back at that door, unconscious."

"The same thing here, I saw my — my Dad all smeared with blood... He — told me things Ja — Jake." Isaac fought back the tears which were about streaming down his cheeks.

"It's okay..." Jake placed his palms on Isaac's shoulder, trying to comfort him. "Let's get out of here" he added.

They ran past multitude of people both within and outside the museum before boarding a taxi back to their residence. They sat at the back seat in silence, processing what they had just seen. They were flooded with guilt of their past mistakes which cost the lives of their parents.

Isaac stared into blank space, hunted by the words of his Dad. What was once a fun hangout, turned out to become his greatest nightmare. A nightmare that'd forever leave both friends with questions.



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Wow!!! This one had me hooked, well done :) If it were me, I'd wonder if I had been talking to my loved one, or Don.

This post has been manually curated by the VYB curation project

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You use dialogue and action well to drive your story forward. I was hooked reading this piece, @ucngozi. You use description to make the reader uncomfortable with the persona of Don. You plant seeds that make us see him as a sinister character. By the end we are wondering if he baited them both into exploring the forbidden area. If there is life in the hereafter, you would think that our loved ones would not be filled with hatred and condemnation, but instead be filled with love, so perhaps Don is part of a network of evil spirits preying on the hearts and minds of the living? You leave it open to interpretation with enough substance on both sides to divide opinion with your readers. If I could add one thing: your piece would be worthy of higher curation if you took the time to edit it before publishing. Run a spellcheck. Check your work for grammar and punctuation issues. It doesn't take long. You will learn so much. And your creative work will be more aptly rewarded. Just a few examples to give you an idea...

The word haunted appears as hunted.

You make some interesting word choices such as glaring in the first paragraph, which does not make sense in context. You also use the word literates when i think you meant to say illiterates.

You have some capitalisation of words crop up mid-sentence which should not happen except for very specific use cases. Google capitalisation rules.

his cheeks thinned into a warm friendly smile.

Consider this... when you smile, do your cheeks draw in or puff out? So do they really give the appearance of thinning?

I enjoyed this read @ucngozi and hope the above feedback is helpful to you. I look forward to reading more of your stories in The Ink Well.

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