I Found You In The Silence

I have tried, harder than I can count, deeper than I thought. Each step feels like a heavier burden, carrying a world I never chose. I keep chasing hope, but the closer I feel, the further it slips away. When I reach it, reality says otherwise; it’s not what I wanted. What I get deepens a wound that will never heal. The emptiness remains, and the more I search for answers, the more I lose myself.

What I thought would fill the void only widened the void. I hoped to find meaning and happiness, but instead I found despair. My hopes never came true, everything I held onto was fragile and simply vanished like sand falling from my grasp. The more I tried, the more I got lost in endless confusion.

I felt like a lost shadow, torn between reality and dreams. Every step I took felt futile, as if I was chasing something impossible to achieve. Everything I thought would heal me only added to the pain. I was lost, lost in meaning, lost in the uncertainty and loneliness that continued to dominate.

Night fell, bringing a silence that only added to the sadness. My body was tired, but sleep would not come. My mind was spinning, trapped in memories I didn’t want to remember, words I couldn’t take back, wrong decisions I couldn’t change. I was trapped in the labyrinth of my own mind, drifting further and further away from the reality I dreamed of. Sleep became an illusion, only the pain that squeezed my heart even more.

My tears fell, not only because of the irreplaceable loss, but because I felt like I had lost myself. The me who was once full of hope, believing that the future could be better. Now, all I felt was a growing emptiness. Everything I had ever loved and trusted was now just a fragment of a memory that could no longer touch my heart.

I know this pain, deeper than I can express. There are no words that can explain how tight this chest is. Even though there are those who try to accompany me, loneliness still dominates. I feel foreign, adrift in the ocean of time that continues to pass without stopping. No one can bring back what has been lost, no one can fix what has been broken inside me.

All my dreams and beliefs are now just fading shadows. The beautiful memories I once held are now like flying fragments, unable to be held anymore. I am trapped in time, as if stopped in the same place, repeating mistakes that cannot be fixed. The more I try to move forward, the deeper I fall into a bottomless abyss.

But I hold on. I try to remind myself to stay alive, even though every day feels harder. I realize that nothing can bring back what is lost, no one can heal all these wounds. But I hold on, even though it feels like there is nothing left. Every tear is a part of me that is lost, a part that will never come back.

I don't know what I'm fighting for anymore. Everything I've ever hoped for is now just an empty shadow. However, I keep trying, even though my struggle feels in vain. Every step I take is further away from what I want, but I keep standing, even though my heart is too tired to feel. I fight to stay there, even though I don't know what I should be looking for anymore.

In every corner of this silence, I survive. I know no one can fill this emptiness, no one can fix what's lost. However, I can't stop. Even though these tears can't bring back what's lost, I still exist, even though part of me is gone forever.

My poems were born in my life journey. Every word I write is a fragment of a wounded soul, every verse contains an unspoken wound. I write to revive what has died in me, to find meaning amidst the emptiness that continues to echo. But, often, those poems are nothing more than shadows trying to embrace emptiness.

Emptiness

At the end of dusk I stand
facing a groaning world
beneath a sky that weeps in silence.
I am a soldier without land
fighting against shadows
that deepen with every breath
bearing a fate
I never chose.

Each step is a weight
crushing my fragile chest
every breath I take only fills the void
like a ship adrift
on an endless unforgiving sea.
I grasp for hope
like water slipping through my fingers
the tighter I hold
the faster it fades.
I gaze at the cracked mirror
my face a map of scars
not of flesh
but of a spirit torn apart.
Happiness that cruel illusion
whispers promises
only to stab its blade.
And the echo of emptiness
becomes the endless hymn
sung on the altar of my heart.

I chase time
as one chases an enemy
that never tires.
But time
the merciless foe
binds me in its invisible chains
destroys my resolve
like waves smashing against jagged rocks.
Everything I once held close
becomes shattered fragments
slipping like sand
through weary fingers.

Night falls
like a velvet curtain
swallowing the last vestiges of light.
I am the watchman of the night
lost in the labyrinth of my own mind.
Every door I seek
leads only to mistakes
past choices
that now shackle me
like rusted chains.

Memories suffocate
sharp as spears through my lungs
leaving an endless emptiness
that echoes through my bones.

Tears fall
rain in the barren desert of my soul.
Not from losing the world
but from losing myself.
I who once believed
in a blossoming future
now stand amidst the ashes.
Once this world was beautiful
but that beauty
has become a fading myth.

Deep in my chest
pain reigns as a silent king
unseen yet sovereign.
People come
bearing torches of hope
but I remain a fog
in the shimmering city.
I exist yet am lost
like a shadow
behind a glass wall.
Dreams and faith
are but fading smoke
memories become dust
drifting aimlessly.
I try to stand tall
though every step I take
is a battle against emptiness.
No one can restore
what has been lost
no one can heal the cracks.

But still I stand
an old tree on the edge of a cliff
facing a storm
that knows no mercy.
I am a knight without a crown
fighting in a barren lonely land
carrying wounds
that are my only truth.
And in each fleeting moment
I still endure
though it is only within emptiness.

Among the endless nights, under the dark sky, I found the silence that became my friend. The silence was no longer painful, but turned into a space where I could hear my own voice, although weak and full of doubt. From that silence, I began to understand that survival is not about winning, but about continuing life like the song we often sing under the shade of a tree that is now only its shadow.

_{"Tears in Heaven" - Eric Clapton [Youtube]}

But in it I found peace, a new understanding that the journey is not about reaching the final destination, but about how we interpret each step that is passed, even though sometimes those steps feel like forgotten traces.

And in the unspoken silence, I learned to accept. That happiness does not always come in the form of thunder or cheers, but in the silence that fills these empty spaces, in the calm that is born of acceptance. Now I know, even though the world continues to move forward without looking back, I remain standing, intact, in the silence that teaches me to survive with all the vulnerabilities that exist.

Thank you for stopping by, reading and enjoying this amazing song.🎶🎸

~ Love Seha76