The Scars of Friendship

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Sometime ago, while my sister and I were having a bonding moment with our mom, she asked me why it is that I'm no longer friends with the people that I used to be really close to.

Before I could answer, my mother quickly responded, "She loved them more than they loved her." I think I take friendships too seriously, and it is sort of scary to most people who are not down to foster connections. The deal with connections for me is that I give my all, and of course I expect it to be reciprocated. Unfortunately for me, I never did get back the same energy that I was dishing out.

Looking back, I have lost some friendships that were valuable to me. If we are counting, it will be three friendships comprising two females and a male.
For the female one, I took a risk with my family when I accepted to take custody of some sensitive documents that her uncle was hunting for.

My mother was scared of being asked to keep the documents, but I assured her she had nothing to fear, which was a lie, as I wasn't even sure what to expect myself. Thankfully, for the duration of two years that the documents were in our possession, we were safe and weren't harmed.

Everything was fine between friend one and me until she and her sister became directors of their father's oil company. She made new friends, and we grew apart.

With female two, I risked losing my National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) certificate, which was the basis of being employed in Nigeria. I also risked my life when I got in a fight with her roommate, who was bullying her, and the roommate came for a rematch with a weapon and her friends as support. From that fight, I had several cuts on my hand and on my forehead, of which I still have the scars today to show.

Our friendship ended because when the fight got to the NYSC authorities and we were set to face the disciplinary committee, my friend whom I was defending was nowhere to be found to testify in my favor. According to her, she didn't want to risk being dismissed from service.

This particular friend pained me the most because if not for her, I wouldn't have been in such a situation. Thankfully my parents interceded, and since I was spared, the other girl was spared too.

For friend number three, every time he needed me, I was always available. Quite unfortunately, when I was at my lowest moment, this so-called friend was nowhere to be found. I still didn't hold that against him, but then I had visited Lagos and informed him about it. This was because he had requested me to whenever I'm in Lagos.

Now, here is where I cut him off; his house was just a stone's throw from where I resided. Upon informing him, he had promised that he would come around. He never did; he also didn't text, nor did he call to explain what happened. Instead, he was busy viewing my status across social media. In that moment, it became clear that there was no friendship, so I deleted his contact.

Well, on the flip side, friend one reached out recently, but we are more like acquaintances now. As for friend two, I made sure she never gets the privilege to contact me ever again by blocking her everywhere.

Looking back to these friendships that went south, all I can say is, no regrets, just lessons.