THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

Life is not fair they say, and that is because it doesn't always give you what you expect. But does that really justify whether or not life is truly fair? I have seen people get away with evil and bad things happening to good people which makes me wonder where Karma truly is. Does Karma pick who to bless and cause, or does it sometimes forget someone in the list of blessings and causes. Does Karma judge every action, or does it judge the intent behind the action? What is the criteria for Karma to act, is there some sort of a cheat to it, does it know what I'm thinking right now, would it come after me if I'm done with everything I'm currently planning or would it forget me like it has forgotten a lot of people. It's not as though I'm that bad of a person to begin with. Am I on the right side with Karma, has it sent me a warning already? Wait, does it send a warning before it acts? Is Karma real?

These were the thoughts going through my head as I lay on my bed thinking about the offer I had just received. It was so good to be true. A part of me wanted to grab what looked like a lifetime opportunity with both hands, but the only thing I could think about was the repercussions. A lot of what ifs filled my thoughts, it was hard to swallow the Possibility of this. I lay down all night unable to sleep, it was the first time I and such an amount of money would be put in the same sentence. I could be 10 million dollars richer if I get this right, but one small voice kept whispering, what if this is a test of your greed. No matter how much I tried to ignore the voice, it just kept on getting stronger. If I was told before that day that there would come a time when my greatest battle would be with myself, and it would be because of money, I would have strongly disagreed. But there I was with my conscience fighting over what karma would think of me.

Before that day, I never gave a thought as to who Karma was, but here I was, thinking about Karma like it was a physical being waiting in the corner for me to make a decision. After I made what seemed to be the right decision, I felt happy and at peace, with one little voice in my head wondering how it would have turned out if that opportunity turned out to be true and I turned it down. That voice kept thinking of the different scenarios that would have played out if I had accepted the offer and it was true. The sender gave an impression of fortune favours the bold, and that voice in my head kept asking my reason for turning it down, was it just that I wanted to do the right thing, or because I was too scared to take the bold step so I used Karma as an excuse. And if I'm to be honest, I think the voice was right and I'm unhappy about it

I do not regret my decision to turn down the proposal, I regret my reasons for turning down the proposal and that was due to fear. Although I couldn't admit then, it's the truth and the more I thought back to that day, the more I saw that my fear was because I was timid and naive and too scared to find the balls to say no for the right reasons. I really thought that I had done Karma a favour, and it would need to return the favour by giving me another opportunity close to the opportunity I had turned down. It's been more than 5 years, and I haven't gotten it, which now makes me wonder, is it that I had too much expectations for Karma, or Karma saw me as a fool instead of a hero.

PICTURE CREDIT IS MINE

THIS IS MY ENTRY INTO THE INKWELL CREATIVE NONFICTION PROMPT #141