Best Way To Clean Up My Mind

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I have a memory that I consider bad when I was in junior high school. When I remember that day, I just can't stop covering my face because I'm so ashamed when the memory crossed again in my mind. It was a Thursday (if I'm not mistaken) that coincided with my 15th birthday.

In my school environment, we had a tradition for the birthday person to be carried by some schoolmates and thrown in the school pool, or at least humiliated in class and laughed at until the birthday person cried.

Unfortunately, my birthday coincided with Thursday, so all my friends knew that it was my birthday and were waiting for the moment when I would be given what I considered a bitter surprise. When the last period ended, all the students in my class and our teacher, who was known to be friendly and familiar with the students, planned to celebrate my birthday in class in a way that didn't please me at all.

They all forced me to perform in front of the class and do some free dance to the music. I was really annoyed at that time because I was a typical kid who was shy to do their ridiculous request. I understood that this way they would think that I would be happy when I wasn't at all.

Music on

"Come on fais, show us some of your great performance!"

"It's a special day, try to be a little special on this day!"

"It only happens once a year, come on!"

Each of them began to lure me to fulfill their expectations. But over time, the atmosphere of my class was also becoming rather annoying. I actually didn't want to cater to their selfish requests, but I felt bad that my teacher was also there. The situation became worse when one of my friends who sat behind me gave me a helmet to use as an additional property for dancing.

Without wasting any more time and the clock was already showing the time to go home, I finally dared myself to come forward to the front of the class and dance to the best of my ability. I could faintly hear all the commotion from my friends at the back, it seemed like they were really enjoying it. By the time my pride had fallen to the ground.

I only danced for about 11 seconds. But it felt like an entire day. Some of my friends were encouraging me, some were recording and uploading it on their social media. The next day, I started to feel something strange. As I walked down the hallway to my class, everyone was looking at me with joking eyes. Some whispered while looking at me sarcastically. I wondered what was going on.

"Fais! Don't you know what's going on?" one of my friends approached me as I was just entering the classroom.

"What are you talking about? Does it have anything to do with the stares people that they shot at me today?"

"Your video from yesterday is going viral on social media, people are reposting it so it can be found on other people's accounts!"

I swallowed. No wonder people's gazes were like that, apparently I had become the butt of other people's jokes. I really hated this. All day long I was being ostracized and laughed at from behind. I had no peace of mind going to the toilet, the canteen or the teachers' room because I had to cross paths with people. My heart felt shattered into a million pieces.

Because of this incident, I became afraid to go to school. This fear gradually became stress that weighed on my mind. But I had to go to school even though my days became darker than before.

Usually, every time I came home, I went straight to bed and hoped to forget about the incident. But it was all in vain because when I wanted to go to school again, the feeling remained.

I began to realize that I couldn't continue to be pensive like this, I didn't want this incident to affect my mindset and emotions. I had to take steps to clear my mind so that I could return to my normal self.

After thinking of various ways, I decided not to go to school tomorrow without anyone knowing, not even my parents. I dressed in my school uniform as always and didn't actually go to school. I went to refresh my mind at a nature spot with a beautiful view at its highest point.

When I was at the top. I shouted as loud as I could at the people who had cornered me. I also shouted to myself to always be strong and survive no matter what. As a result, I felt a little relieved. Not only that, I also went on a mechanical boat on the lake and fed the animals that passed by me. I felt happy on that day.

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The next day, I started to think that everything would be fine because the exam day was coming up. I thought that maybe the news about me would be quickly swept under the rug because there would be a more appropriate exam schedule for them to think about. And sure enough. Everything was back to normal. All my classmates had asked me about my absence yesterday. I explained that everything was fine.

I started to get busy studying and learning to finish my exams so that I could get back to my old self. I'm the nerd that people like because I have a proud achievement.

/The End/