Wake Up Call

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Yesterday, like every other day, I was chatting with my girl Sharon, and then she sent some photos of her on her vacation. As always, Babe looked really stunning and quite younger than usual. While I complimented how beautiful she looked, she went on to gist me on her vacation drama.

Drama started when she went to the bar to place an order for a drink and the bartender requested an ID to be sure she's not underage which was eventually sorted out after presenting a virtual copy of her passport. She also went on to say how she often gets complimented that she doesn't look a day over 25 lol... You know, it was quite funny because Sharon is older, even older than me.

Moving on, aside her vacation gossips, She would often send me a before and after video of her. I swear I never knew she was that obese. I knew she was fat but not as big. So seeing her transformation videos, I asked so many questions on how I never saw her for who she really was. She laughed and said that's because she was hiding her appearance via photo and video edits. She then reminded me that my mom is the only one who saw through her deceit, as whenever I shared Sharon's photos with her, she would often complain about how overly weighty Sharon is and how such images are not befitting for a young girl.

During this time, I would always defend my friend by telling my mom how She was perfect just the way she was. Not only that but I would go on to gist Sharon about how my mom complained over her weight, this is usually when she complains about her fiancee's size. Well, unknowingly to me, everytime I share my mom's concern with her she feels motivated to shed some fat. .

More so, I remember how badly Sharon wished to be a size 8 or 10, as she was 16/18. She would always talk about how blessed I am to not deal with so much weight. Well the up side of Sharon's challenges was that my mom's concern and my physique was why she eventually took the bull by the horn and went on a weight loss journey.

It is worth noting that it took Sharon 8 months of calorie deficit to achieve a size 8 body and she's still feeling that she isn't trimmed enough. As always, it is me advising her to resume a moderate diet so as to avoid tilting towards malnutrition and other health related issue. Although, she would always tell me in excitement how her health has improved greatly and honestly, I couldn't help but be amazed on the damaging effect that fat had on her.

You see all this narration about my friend's experiences reminded me of an adage which states that, one man's food is another's poison. Personally, I have been bodshamed severally for being too thin. There have been times people would advice me to beef up a bit suggesting all forms of supplements just so I don't have to appear so thin.

What kept me going through all that time was that I knew who I was because I was very much aware of my health status. The thing is, as long as I am healthy and my BMI is normal, it's me always shutting them up in their opinions till I was left alone.

I understand the concept of body positivity and how It's good that we are comfortable in our bodies but then while at it, we shouldn't lose sight of our health and appearance. Just earlier this year a plus sized artist was reported dead. A death that was tied to some medical conditions that were overweight related. What made her passing to make wave on facebook was that earlier, someone had adviced her to quit her body positivity campaign and actually cut down on her weight. That advice was greatly attacked as it was seen as cyber bullying. So when the artist died, it was dark but then the adviser had a bit of an i told you so moment.

Well to wrap this up, I think it's cruel to advocate for body positivity when the person in question actually needs to work on themselves especially when they need to preserve their health.