Between Most Dads And Their Daughter' Boyfriend

Imagine yourself as a young guy, who was just passing through someone's backyard, at an early hour of the night, but suddenly you felt a splash from a bucket of water all over your body being poured on you by a father who thought you were trespassing into his compound, to probably mess with his beautiful daughter.

You looked up and saw a huge fiercely looking elderly man twice your size, ready to devour you into pieces. You realize you don't stand any chance of fighting him, so you gently walk away and continue to wipe out the dripping water off your face as you leave.

Yeah, I said probably because the said father wasn't even sure of what your mission was and you might just as well be an innocent guy, taking a harmless walk in his neighborhood.

But whether innocent or not you better not take your walk close to Yemi, my friend's compound, or else you might see the wrath of her father.

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When I read this week's prompt from the #hiveghana engagement topic, the incident above that happened many years back flashed back to my memory.

Yemi's Dad was well known in his community for not letting any male friends near his house for whatever reason, for fear of them spoiling his daughters.
Sometimes he chases boys with canes, or other times with water like the one I witnessed above.

The unfortunate part of this story is that, with all the father's over-protection attitude, Yemi ended up with an unwanted pregnancy at the age of eighteen.

Growing up, my dad wasn't very harsh about me having male friends, he seemed to have a lot of trust in the moral training, and all the sex education he instilled in me and I on the other hand made sure never to mess around, the last thing I ever wanted was to betray his trust.

But I have an in-law, my elder sister's husband. Whenever I visited them during holidays, he always warned me not to keep male friends, even if my sister should send me on an errand he would be trailing me on the phone until I got home.

I would just smile because I was more focused on my personal growth and development than running after boys.

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I can’t seem to get a hold of why fathers and their daughter's boyfriends never see eye to eye, especially on their first meeting.

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I think the reason for the behavior of some fathers who can not stand seeing a boyfriend coming near their daughters is fear of the said boyfriend misleading their girls.

Men know how deceiving some boys can be when they want something with a girl, and they know that their still very naive daughters could easily be deceive, so they do all they can to protect their precious child until they are convinced of the intention of their girl's boyfriend, they might give him a hard time initially.

Though I do not support overprotection of daughters, when a father is too harsh instead of guiding and giving the girl adequate sex education, to help such daughter in choosing the right friend for her, it can backfire by pushing the girl into the wrong hands or leading her to make a terrible mistake. I have seen it play out many times which might not end well with the girl in the end.

And again, some fathers spent their adolescence messing around with girls, such fathers are always in constant fear of their daughters reaping what they sow.

I think it is important for fathers to balance discipline and being a close pal with their daughters, that way she will be free with him, and it can be easier for him to guide her in the right ways to go about having a relationship with the opposite gender.

Men protecting their daughters should not end with just telling them who to befriend or not but should be greatly extended to teaching their sons the right way to treat girls, something many parents fail to do right.

If boys learn how to treat girls the right way, there will be less need to be afraid of your daughter's boyfriend.

We are in a society that teaches its daughters how to do the right things and leaves their sons to do the things they like. Though things are not as bad as they used to be, we can still do better, if we truly want to protect our daughters we should start by telling our sons to do right by them.

_{This Is My response to #hiveghana weekly engagement topic and you still have till on Sunday to make an entry}

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