Will It Matter?

Five days ago, I got a call from her mom asking me what really led to the breakup between me and her daughter, and for the first time, I couldn’t really think of a cause. After the call, I became so worried because it wasn’t the call I was expecting. I believe everything was already “water under the bridge,” but I guess not because of how we separated.

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“I know you both have always loved each other so what happened” she asked
“I’m not sure ma, I can’t really say this was what led to our separation”

“You know, I asked her and she said she doesn’t know. She feels you betray her and I think you both should talk things out” she suggested.

I was thinking of what to say because I have no response nor did I want to talk things out. I know what happened and what led to us not talking again but I said ok so she could end the conversation. I really wanted to call but the thought of everything that had happened stopped me.

Esther was such a lovely lady; she isn’t too tall. She’s neither the bursty type nor a lady with a big ass. She was dark in complexion; she had brown eyes and very short hair. She loves to laugh at every joke I make, and her face always looks younger than her age. She had a very nice set of teeth, which made people look at her twice when she smiled. I guess this is what attracted me to her. She’s the kind of lady any man would wish for if her flaws weren’t too obvious. I and Esther had the best relationship that people wished for, but they don't know the problem that was covered by our smile. Esther was way too jealous for an average lady; she doesn’t want to see me with any lady, which includes some of my relatives whom she doesn’t know.

“Baby, tell me. Who do you love the most between me and your sister?” She asked this question like a joke one day, and I didn’t even know what response to give because I really loved her. Should I compare the love I have for her with that of my sister? “I love you very much, and I love my sister like family; I don’t know if I can explain it.” That was all I could say.

I was so engrossed by my love for her that I never saw the red flags. “I don’t want you uploading any lady on your status; I don’t like it. Also, if you want to upload any of your cousins or relatives, tell me before uploading, so I’ll know who they are. I don’t want to have a different thought,” and all I said was "Yes, ma,” there is nothing love can’t make you do.

Everything was going well until the rules became so strict, and some words she uttered, knowingly and unknowingly, sometimes made me scared. How can a beautiful lady have such a thinking faculty?

The year came for me to serve my country, which I was not mentally prepared for. I was scared because I was going to a strange land, a place I hadn’t been to, and the only news I got from that place was bad news. I needed someone to motivate me, someone to help me calm my nerves. I wanted someone I could talk to. Friends were calling; prayers came in, but my mind wasn’t settled.

In the mist of thinking, my phone rang, and it was my girlfriend calling. I felt this sense of relief, but the conversation we heard only added to my perplexity. “You see, you’re going to a strange land; avoid talking to ladies. Don’t look at them; always wear shades so they don’t get to see your handsome face.” And she went on and on till I got angry. “Is that the only thing you care about? Is that why you called? See, I don’t even need all this rubbish advice you’re giving now because I don’t have the mental capacity to talk to you right now.” I ended the call after saying this.

We continued to have arguments until one day we argued and waited for the first person to call and say sorry. Esther is someone who never apologises unless you apologise first. She believes it is wrong for a woman to apologise first in a relationship. I have been the one apologising, but I decided not to this time around.

I waited for her call for the first week, and a week became two. I wanted to call so badly, but I was so busy that sometimes I forgot to call. Two weeks became a month, and it went on till it was a year of no communication.

I already got over her, but it took months of sleepless nights and days of blaming myself. I was surprised when I saw her mom call; she never called me to ask what happened all this time, so why now? Why is my heart so unsettled after I spoke with her? I thought everything was water under the bridge, but I guess not. I think I have to break up with her officially for me to have the peace of mind I seek.

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Posted Using InLeo Alpha