The Difference Between Healthy Pride and Toxic Pride

As humans, it's normal for us to be proud about something in our lives, as being proud sometimes can be a sign of confidence. Some of my such worth things are our cultural heritage, skills, talent, resilience, personal achievement, relationships, growth, health, creativity, and many more, to mention but a few. While this is good, there are some people who take pride to a whole new level, making them a pain in the ass to those around them. This is an act I don't like, and today I'll be sharing some of my experience dealing with such.

Like I said earlier, being proud isn't bad entirely, and I myself have something to be proud of in my life through the years. Take, for instance, I hear and see lots of people who aren't proud of their skin color and tried to bleach; that's strange to be because I'm, on the other hand, proud of my black skin. I'm also proud of cultural heritage; regardless of what people say, I'll also be proud of my tribe and our culture. The same is the case with all of my achievements, both personal and collective ones, including my strength in resilience and many more, to mention but a few.

One thing I try to do when interacting with others or airing my pride about myself and things I like is to not make it seem intimidating to others; instead of being proud of things I'm proud of and making it oppress others, instead I do it in a way where it serves as a motivation and inspiration to others to be proud of where they're as well, as well as not being afraid to take bold steps in getting to where I'm and even going beyond.

I remember a few years ago I had to deal with a very proud friend. The way he continuously behaved without any signs of willingness to change despite all of us in his circle of friends complaining led to me taking drastic action for my own mental wellbeing, and so I wouldn't have to continuously get offended by his behalf. I had no choice but to bid the friendship farewell gradually.

This is a person I grew up with, and we've been friends since our high school days; however, after our university days, he was fortunate to get a good and well-paying job, which we are all happy for him about; after all, it's not like we others don't have a good job. It's just that ours doesn't pay well enough like his does. Well, fast forward to when he was working there; his attitude towards us began to change. You'll find his acting and talking to us as though we're tagging along with him because of his new-found wealth.

It was quite disheartening, and we had to sit him down and tell him about his changes with the hope to make him change for good, unlike what we hope to see; instead, he flees up there and then calls us names and tells us we aren't in his level and shouldn't dare talk to him in such habits. To crown it all, he chases us out of his house. I and others were so embarrassed; i mean, it's not like I've ever asked for his assistance since his status changed for good, so why think of us as though we're a burden to him?

Well, to cut the long story short, I personally decided there and then that I've had enough and should respect myself, so I just avoided him, and that's how the friendship went down the drain. I heard our other friends still try to talk to him after that particular incident, and they still met the same fate before they also stopped trying, making him lose good friends who have stood by him even when we don't know what it means to earn money. Well, I didn't bother checking on him, so I can't say much about him now, but then I still wish him well; I just don't want to be a part of his circle anymore.

All photos are mine.