Boundaries, Healing And The Love I Want.

Truly we are in an era where people say that love is subjective, and yes, seriously, I agree with this, because what love looks like for me might be totally different from how it looks like for another person. Some people define love by gifts, time, and words, and some by sacrifice, but for me, love is simple,love is feeling safe,love is peace, Love is being consistent, It is knowing that someone has your back even when things are not going fine. I certainly do not think that love is flashy or loud or should be loud all the time. Sometimes love is quiet, Love is going out of your comfort zone. Love is checking if you have eaten, Love is choosing someone every day even when they are not easy to deal with.

Yes, to be honest, my definition of love has actually changed over time, You see, before I used to think love was all about intense feelings, obsessions, butterflies, wanting to talk every minute, and missing someone like crazy, but after my experience with being hurt, I have come to realize that it's not just about that. Yes, these feelings can be there, but then there has to be more, Because you can feel these things for someone and still get treated like trash, I know that loving someone and still being disrespected is a thing I have come to realize, so this alone has taught me that love without respect isn't love at all.

So do I think that unconditional love do exists in a romantic relationship? Hmmm, even though this question seems tricky, I will still say YES, I believe unconditional love does exist, but then, it isn't in the way many people imagine it. Unconditional love does not mean disrespect, cheating, abuse, emotional neglect, etc. I don't think that loving someone unconditionally means tolerating things that can destroy you.
So for me, unconditional love means loving someone despite their flaws, their bad days, and their imperfections. It means choosing to understand, be patient with them, and be ready to forgive mistakes that are genuinely worked on.
When someone repeatedly hurts you and refuses to change, I don't think that staying is loveanymore, I think staying becomes sel-betrayal..

So yes, I believe unconditional love can exist, but then it must come with some boundaries...

Have I ever been in love? Yes, and I have loved deeply, the kind of love where I give my whole heart, the kind where you believe in the future, the kind where you see forever, I trusted the process, I imagined a lot of things, and see me, I got hurt. It wasn't just heartbreak, it was very disappointing. It just gave me this reminder that words are sweet, but actions are empty.

Even though the experience changed me, I am not bitter, i just got wiser, It taught me to be more careful with my heart and to listen more to actions than just mere words. Also, it taught me that love is not constant pain.

Now my idea of love is simple, a love that feels calm, a love that feels safe, a love where I don't have to beg for attention, a love where communication is normal, and a love where I and my pattern try together, where effort is made, even after being hurt, Yes, I can love again, I won't allow a bad past to hinder me from experiencing something good, I'm choosing to love better, with self-respect, boundaries, and awareness, and with us both putting in efforts to make it work out.

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