Step parenting and its complications
One of the reasons why I choose never to consider having anything to do with a single mum or someone who already has a child is that I am a jealous lover who does not like to share and mothers are known to love their children more than the husband or man in their life which means she would always prioritize the child over me.
I can deal with this if the child is my flesh and my blood but having to take care of someone else child and yet still not get the required attention from the woman is another level of pain, also Problems may arise, and sometimes children would think their parent adopted them because of the way they are disciplined but it changes nothing and doesn't breed contempt but if it was to be a step relationship, he or she might think you do not love them because you are not their father so in a way you have to pretend and overlook somethings they do or ask the mum to handle it in order not to give such impression and being someone who does not like to pretend, there is no way I would be able to cope.
Another reason I can't be a stepfather or date a single mum, especially the one the guy is still alive is because the mum will still keep in contact with the father of the child, and for someone you have been intimate with in the past, it is very easy to get intimate again and I will be the only one in the dark like I said above, I am a jealous lover and don't like sharing my woman! so my trust level is zero and no way I would trust someone who still contacts or connects with their ex.
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I have heard of cases where a man married a single mum but she still kept contact with the father of her child who impregnated her again and she pinned it on the husband, so some people can be wicked and I won't be the one to be taken as a fool or rare a bastard as mine.
There is a 99 percent chance I would never consider being a stepfather or marrying a single mum but there is a 1 percent chance because I have someone I could do it for, just one person who happens to be my closest friend.
As a logical person, I would love to avoid any complicated matters or getting entangled in a relationship like that, the best thing is to get married to someone who doesn't have a kid for another man, we will grow together and have our own kids that we can both love right.
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Your points are logical and it's applicable for most of us also. At the beginning, everything may give a perfect feeling but complications will start with time. So, It's better not to take such a risk.
that is it, time will make it complicated and that is after love fades and other qualities are needed to make the relationship work.
Sending you an Ecency curation vote
I feel it’s better for a lady to date a man with kids because he knows how to control his emotions instead of a man to marry a woman with a kid
It’s crazy
well it is the person without children that needs to control his/her emotion not with the person with the child because it is the former that needs to be with a child not his/her own....
Omo, imagine our senior man Burl being played by a woman.😂
You have very valid points here and you’re right say you don’t want to be a step dad because such matters are very delicate.
One time, a colleague at work said a woman with a child is not a marriage material. I was so offended by his mentality we almost had a fight. I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
omo I don't want to imagine it so I won't let it happen 😃
As you said, everyone to their own opinion, and in my own opinion, she is wrong cos, not all women are promiscuous, some men are scum too, so if a decent woman is unfortunate to get entangled with a scum and left after impregnating her, it is not the woman's fault.
You’re right. We have good and bad people and some people are just unlucky to meet the bad ones.
Yeah true, if you starts disciplining a child, most times, they start thinking you don’t love them so imagine in this case, he/she is not your biological child. So I really get you.
Apart from the fact that she might keep being in contact with the baby daddy, I believe at a point she’ll make it seem like she has back up in case there’s an argument or anything like that. There’s this couple that divorced because of the lady’s baby daddy.Oh and they are now married actually. For someone like you who is so jealous as you’ve said, please don’t even think about it😂
I support every point you have given here, more like we feel the same way about getting involved with a single mother.