What Is This?

Some years ago, I proposed marriage to someone without even knowing. Well that’s what happens when you walk around with clear intentions and say whatever is on your mind as it is.

I have this really handsome friend with very pretty hands. The very first time I saw his hands, I asked him if he used hand cream or there was a secret behind how those hands looked. I had never seen a man with such hands so I made the statement “ I really would love to put a ring on your finger to see something”. Ladies and gentlemen, I didn’t know I had started something between us. I just thought I was being Abena, saying what was on my mind.

He eventually said “of course, let’s get married”, but I didn’t pay attention. Anyway, after everything died down, he confronted me about what I said. Oh and I was so glad he did because I got to explain to him that I was just complimenting him. I had no idea that was a pick up line but now that I think of it, if it truly was then I will do better as a guy when it comes to pick up lines. Sometimes I don’t know what comes over certain guys to say what they say.

Today, I’ve just been laughing at the pick up lines my friends have been getting and I can’t help but think that some people will do better in life as comedians. In University, I had a friend who had a book for pick up lines. He would always come to try the new ones on me and everytime he did, I laughed and called them wack. But the same lines got him about three girlfriends on campus. Maybe we’re all different indeed, and one girl’s awww is another girl’s what is this?

He treated that book like the book of life. And I was always told him I wished he focused on his academics like how he focused on his books but jokes on me because my boy was getting all the girls on campus with those lines.
About some years ago, I met this guy who was very intelligent. As a sapiosexual, I thought ohkayyy I finally met my soulmate until we faced situations where he had to use “home sense”. After I got to know him well, I just emotionally ended everything before it even started.

There was this day that I came back home to meet “We look like a match made in heaven” from him. I thought about the text so much and I know you think I was overthinking but then he was an atheist. He didn’t believe in God, heaven, hell, nothing. So how did he suddenly…..?

At that moment, he sounded like a clown because you don’t believe in something but have the audacity to use it to get a lady? I ended the friendship because nothing seemed right to me after that. And that was my sign to focus on jollof rice instead of love.