Toxic Resolutions In 2026?

So I saw someone’s new year goals, and it was about putting herself first. You know all that stuff about attending to your needs first and all that? Yeah. She said she was going to be selfish, and to be honest, I was curious as to why.

She actually posted it on her WhatsApp status, so that’s how I got to see it. And I believe the moment you put something on social media, it means you want others to have their own opinion about that thing. I was curious. So I asked why she wanted to be selfish. You know these things just don’t happen.

Something brings it, or let me just say an experience triggers it. So I wanted to know why she wanted to put herself first all the time this year. Was it something she went through, or was it maybe something she saw or heard? And since we are a little close, I wanted us to have a conversation.

And that was when she said nothing really happened, but this year is going to be a year of personal growth for her. She’s going to be focused on herself. If someone doesn’t call her, she won’t call them. If she misses someone who doesn’t really check up on her, she’ll ignore them. If she stops benefiting from someone, she’ll cut them off.

I asked her how she came up with all that and she said she is trying to grow this year. And I’m so glad that I replied to that WhatsApp status because I got to tell her all that I’m about to say now. I began by telling her how proud I am that she’s setting goals and wants to grow this year. It’s actually rare to see a Gen Alpha be this invested in their growth, but that’s not how it should be.

So I asked her what she was going to do if she missed someone who stopped checking up on her and also decided not to visit them or even check up on them, only to find out they were actually sick and died. She said she wasn’t going to be able to forgive herself, and that was it. I didn’t have to point out to her what was wrong with her goals. She saw it.

I don’t know why this generation is obsessed with avoidance. People just avoid people and ignore people because they didn’t return their calls or texts, and they didn’t call as they said they would. Come on, what if they never even saw the call in the first place? What if they are probably going through too much? I have a friend who died right after we stopped communicating, and it’s even sadder that I still didn’t know he was dead until during his funeral.

I’m not saying don’t put yourself first. Do that. Take care of yourself. Do all that you need to do for yourself. And you know the beautiful part? You can do all that without being toxic, without mounting a war in your head against people. Just choose a peaceful 2026.