The Unromanticized Truth

It’s funny how about six years ago, I thought I was so in love. I can’t even laugh because it’s actually sad. I remember losing myself. Letting go of people around me and choosing one person over everything and everyone that made me happy. Gosh! I’m embarrassed.

You know how people can’t see what is happening right in front of them when they are in love? I do. I remember learning this from my aunt when we were kids. My elder cousins used to laugh at her that she was blindly in love with my uncle because he used to do something that she didn’t like. It was a minor issue, but we all knew she didn’t like it. Okay, let me say it. It was about the usage of toothpaste.

So one day, my aunt told us that "no, she wasn’t blindly in love." She sees everything her husband does and recognizes that he’s a human being and isn’t perfect. So she loving him means okay, he has this flaw, and she sees it but can deal with it. And she knows such behavior isn’t going to affect her well-being, and she won’t also lose herself in any way.

This thing got so stuck in my head for years, but the only problem is I didn’t understand what it meant until situations made me learn the hard way. See, I’ll always be grateful for growth because right now? Everything is different. Very different. Sometimes it hurts that I was searching so far away for what it means to love and be loved when I’ve had my family around me for years. I’ve had people tell me they are actually jealous of the kind of family I have, and I seriously get it and will forever be grateful for them.

One thing I’ve come to know is that love is not complicated. Trust me. Not even a little. When you are in love or when someone loves you, there’s no confusion, and there’s no “I don’t know” or “What if.” Everything is crystal clear. And the thought of the person alone makes you happy. Read it again. I said happy, not moody.

And also, I’ve grown to understand that love won’t make you lose yourself. You’ll rather grow as a person and even find different versions of yourself. Sometimes, you do something around someone you love, and you get confused because you never thought you could do that. Well, that’s love for you, and by something, I’m talking about just good stuff.

Anyway, so from my experience, I don’t think love is blind. Just like my aunt, I notice everything, but if I choose to stay, it’s just me knowing that not everyone is perfect, and I can deal with you wearing slides without socks. But if I choose not to be with you, then maybe I just can’t deal with you using “am” instead of “I’m” after studying from crèche to university.