The Bitter Lens

I just closed from work some few minutes ago, and while waiting for my driver to pick me up, someone brought up a conversation about relationships. I heard one person talk about how she was so in love with her partner because he makes her want to be a better person.

To be honest, it was nice to hear such a beautiful story about the both of them. She even kept on talking about instances where she thought she wouldn’t be able to do something but later did it.

I found myself smiling so hard until I heard one silly comment. It was from a colleague who hadn’t even been invited into the conversation. She said, “It will end in tears,” which means that the person’s relationship wasn’t going to go anywhere. They would end up parting ways and getting hurt.

That comment erased the smile from my face and brought a frown. Already, they had tried to involve me in the conversation, and since I didn’t have anything to say, I just kept smiling.

Now after hearing the comment, I knew the exact things to say. I began by asking the lady who made the comment why she said that.

And she said she was going through heartbreak from her just-ended relationship. I now asked her if she had the same name as the person, and she said no. I asked if they were related; she said no. I asked if they were probably distant cousins, and she said no.

I then asked her so what makes her think the other person was going to go through what she did. At that point, she was just quiet. And this is something I don’t understand. It actually cuts across generations, but Gen Zs go extreme when it comes this. We tend to impose our experiences on others.

And sometimes, it might even come off as you’re being bitter or envious of someone, which, to me, I believe is a valid perception for someone to have of you after saying such an unnecessary comment about something that makes someone happy.