Lifescape
Today, my friend was telling me her favorite thing about me is how I don’t even judge people. I laughed and told her that’s not true. We all lowkey judge people silently, we just don’t say it out loud.
She still said I’m way better than her, and that makes her admire me because with what she has seen me go through and still come out the way I am, I should be able to condemn people for not surviving the same things.
And to be honest, I get her. You know this thing about humans where we feel like we are way better just because someone went through something we also went through but couldn’t come out like we did? Let me give you an example. So one of the things I saw a lot of my colleagues in senior school do was to go out with older men for money.
Yes, I said senior high school not university. And I never judged them for their actions. I never felt I was better than them. I never made them feel dirty in any way. And during that time, my parents were going through some serious financial struggles. They kept it from me, but I knew because the money they were giving me reduced.
I mean, that phase was for a short while, but it was very tough for me because I couldn’t afford most of the things I wanted as a girl. I always got the things I needed but the my girly wants? My diaries, my Barbie pens, and other girly stuff, I just had to forfeit. But I was content. So content and strategic that I could even save from the little I had.
I don’t know what my colleagues were going through for them to do what they did, but the fact that I went through financial struggles and didn’t do what they did, did not make me feel like I was better than them. It didn’t make me feel like I had the right to judge them. It’s everyone and their choices. And maybe I chose to arrive at ten through the addition of 5 and 5 because of my upbringing and understanding, they chose eleven minus 1 because of something else too, which I believe is fine.
When I was growing up, I didn’t really appreciate all these, but now? I’m always making myself proud with my thought process and all. And for my friend to even admire me? Mmmm, I know I’m on the right track.
Images are mine
In this era we are where oppression from friends are showcasing is not something easy to handle but when your contented with want you have and believe positive in the future, things will definitely turnaround for good.
Contentment is really important.
I wish I can say this for myself. I’m the complete opposite. A lot of persons have called me a judgy person and I have had to learn over time how to stop it. Like you said, there are a lot of things that affect the way we all make choices and because of that, no one really has the right to judge another person. The least we can do for them is offer suggestions to them in love and pray they see the need to accept it.
Thanks for sharing, Abenad.
!PIMP
@hopestylist here!
Awww. I’m glad you’ve learned how to stop it.
That’s music to my ears.
I know right? I’m glad too. Although I’m still learning.
!PIMP
Going through that financial struggles as a girl and still sticking to your home training, morals and values, that alone speaks alot about who you are.
Not judging others base on what they do because you don't know what they are passing through is the right thing to do. I also don't judge people because of the same factor.
Great write and glad you shared it @abenad
I’m glad you also don’t judge people. That’s good to hear.
I used to judge people but in my heart, I never say it out neither do I hold a grudge.
That was before, but now I grew to understand that everyone does what works for them. Even with home training, some people still misbehave when given a little freedom. They tend to over do like their covering up for the times their parents locked them up in the house.
I realized home training is not enough but your kind of person matters that's why I stopped judging people and allow them do what works for them because I know if I try it, I'll be the scapegoat for my generation.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece Abenad ❤️
Scapegoat for your generation indeed😂😂
I can totally relate.😂