How do you stop surviving and start living?

“I’ve heard it so many times that life is not a bed of roses and if I’m being honest, I don’t even understand. But why can’t it just be a bed of roses so that we can all sleep in peace?” These were the last words my friend said over the phone today. She didn’t say it word for word like I have but I believe that was her message.

We were talking about how almost everyone at one point in life begins to survive instead of live. And it’s not something we do intentionally or consciously. Most times, situations demand that we do that to thrive. But for others, they unfortunately get sucked into that sinking sand and eventually survive forever.

She was telling me about how she’s been sinking for years and doesn’t know how to come out of it. Actually, according to what she told me, almost nothing she wanted in life worked out for her and she has been through so much pain in life to the extent that she now has no option to build walls around her. She has no option than to walk looking over her shoulders. She literally goes to bed and wakes up awaiting something bad. With that she feels like she’s never really moved when they happen.

I love having these kinds of conversations with my friends. Maybe because they are just three? Maybe. But I love to know what goes on in the deepest parts of the minds of my friends. And I’m glad they are not many so I never get overwhelmed when they tell me these things. So today, when I was speaking to my girl, she asked me how to come out of the sinking sand.

The funny part is I don’t even know if I am surviving or living. How can I get to know that? Is there a form of evaluation you have to do? I mean if I think about it, I definitely do what makes me happy, I don’t swim in drama and I make sure that whatever I do is something I really want. Or maybe it’s more tailored towards finances? Hmm. I could think about this all day but why do that when I could get other people’s opinions, and that’s why I’m here.

Let’s put me aside for today. I really would like to know how to stop surviving and start living. I couldn’t answer my friend but I told her I would get back to her so she shouldn’t worry. Is it about doing what you love? Putting you first? Checking things off your bucket list? Doing things that make you happy? And what if your situation in life isn’t allowing you to do all these? I know the questions are a lot but that’s just me pouring my confusion over here hoping I could get some answers.

But hold on, looking at your life at the moment, are you living or surviving? In case you also don’t know, then welcome to the team.