It hasn't been, Rosy

Been a while since I left here and went into extinction, tried everything and anything, failed at everything and anything, dug deeper to know myself more and who I am.

Gone through the end of the earth and back, walked through the hot furnace and back, sat under the rain and snow, just to find who I am but it seems like I am in search of what can feed me not who I am and every time it always seems like I am doing enough, always seems like there is more to me but how can I find it when everything is like this.

I have gone to the end of the abysses and back, I have felt and seen the moment of happiness, joy, smile, and I have also felt and seen the moment of sadness, sorrow, hurt, and pain. They are part of the menu the Earth has in store for us.

They said look inward and deep and for years that is all I have been doing because I want to be better, a girl fulfilled and doing her purpose, but I am checking and I am still checking but it is not getting any easier for me because times are changing, the world is revolving, the economy is revolving, but it still feels I am still here, still searching for that one thing.

I do not want to do something because everyone is doing it but because I love it and want to do it but how do I keep the hope when the world is becoming what we can not understand or voucher for, how do I get to find me when the world is looking more like the survival of the fittest, how do I get to know me when the world has become a mediocre for anything and anyone.

It is on a rampage, it is scouting around looking for anyone and just anything to keep going, and along the line, it is giving little or nothing for daily survival. I don't know who I am or where I am but I do know that I am somewhere just holding on to the thin line that is left of my dream.

Selah!!!