When Understanding Won.

The morning after always has a funny way of making you see things differently, sometimes you wake up smiling because yesterday went exactly as planned, other times, you wake up wishing you could rewind the previous day and do one or two things differently

For me this morning was quiet, I picked up my phone, and saw that I had missed three calls from my girlfriend, Blessing, she had also sent me a message around midnight.

"Since you are too busy to call back have a good night." When I read it I knew I had messed up.

The day before had been crazy, work kept me busy from my phone and I was exhausted by the time I got home, so i charged my phone and lay down on the bed for a few minutes and the next thing I knew it was already morning.

I let out a sigh, i thought to myself Cohlson, you are in trouble.

I quickly called her, She picked up after the third ring. " Morning " she said
Her voice was calm, but could tell she was not happy.

"Baby I'm sorry " I said.
"For what?" she asked.
"Come on don't pretend like you don't know " I said.

There was a pause, then she said,
"So you remembered me this morning." I scratched my head.
"My phone died yesterday and when I got home I fell asleep " I explained. "Hmm " she said.
"I swear, that's what happened " I said. She laughed softly.
"You men and your stories " she said. "I'm serious " I said.
"I know " she said.

We were quiet for a moment, then she said,
"I was just worried."
And that hit me.
I had thought she was angry not knowing she was just worried because she couldn't reach me.

"I'm sorry for making you worry " I said.
"I know you didn't mean to " she said. "I'll do better " I said.

"I'll hold you to that " she said. We both laughed.

I asked if we could meet up later that day.
"Only if you are buying lunch " she said.
I laughed.
"So my apology has a price?" I asked. " OfCourse " she said.
"No problem " I said.

We met at a restaurant we both liked and when I got there she smiled. "You are on time " she said.
"I didn't want to make another mistake " I said.
She shook her head. "You are already forgiven " she said.

As we ate we talked about what had happened the day,we also talked about things like our childhood and our plans, for the future and at one point she said,
"You know what I learned yesterday?" "What?" I asked.
"Communication is important but understanding is just as important " she said.
I nodded.
"If you had thought I was ignoring you on purpose we would still be arguing " I said.

"And if I had thought you were just trying to nag me we would still be arguing too "
she said. We both laughed.

I realized that most problems don't become big because of what happened, it happens because of the assumptions people make afterwards.

The morning after gives you two choices, you can carry yesterdays anger into today, you can choose to understand each other and move forward. I am glad we chose the other option.

On our way home Blessing smiled.
"I almost came to your house yesterday " she said.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yes " she said.
"Why?" I asked.
"I wanted to make sure you were alive before I got angry " she said.

I burst out laughing.

"So you were concerned before you got angry " I said.

"Exactly " she said. I shook my head. "I don't deserve you sometimes " I said.
She gently pushed my shoulder.
"Just don't disappear again " she said. "I won't " I said.

As we walked I couldn't help but smile, the morning had started with guilt and worry, it ended with laughter, understanding and a reminder that relationships aren't built because people never make mistakes, They are built because people are willing to listen , explain, forgive and keep choosing each other after misunderstandings.

Looking back I don't remember the stress that made me fall asleep that night, what I remember is the lesson I learned the morning after, sometimes all it takes is one conversation to prevent a small misunderstanding from becoming a big problem.. Honestly i am grateful we had that conversation. My gf and I we talked things through and It made our relationship stronger.

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