I Am #AliveAndThriving Today! || #IAmAliveChallenge || Daily Off-Grid Jungle Journal Entry: Day #1427 - The Need for Integration, Balance, and Wholeness - GaiaYoga Gardens, Lower Puna, Far East Big Island, Hawai'i - Monday, June 15, 2026

I live naked and barefooted, very close to Earth and Nature, in an 18-acre, off-grid, clothing-optional, food-forest intentional community (GaiaYoga Gardens), way out in the jungles of Lower Puna, far East Big Island, Hawai'i, and I have for more than 7 years now. Although there are many challenges, I love my life, and I'm immensely grateful to live where and how I do, on my own terms! I would not want to live any other way! 😁🙏💚⚡💥🔥✴️✳️❇️👣🌱✨🤙

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Warm greetings all! 😁🙏💚✨🤙

In my Hive profile description (which I really need to update soon), I mention how balance, integration, wholeness, and vitality are very important to me, and while this is indeed true, it's unfortunately not reflected in the current iteration of my life and experience. In part because of my deeply broken/shattered heart, and my subsequent withdrawal from close and intimate human connections, and because of the passion that I had for Hive, Arch/Artix Linux, Qortal, and now also locally-run agentic-AI frameworks, among others, I basically hyper focused on these in a non-negotiable daily and weekly routine and schedule that removed even the possibility of socializing and connecting with other people again in any deep way at all. Although I've been able to make that work for years now, I'm now very strongly feeling the absolute necessity of making some significant changes in my life.

While what and how I do it on a day-in-day-out basis is important and meaningful for me, it's not generally fulfilling on a deep human level for me, exactly because it's so ridiculously imbalanced and lopsided when compared to the rest of my life. The need for important changes is jumping up and down, screaming in my face, and yet I mostly don't listen, because honestly at this point, and where and who I am now, I don't really know how to shift things in a beneficial and positive direction without drastically disrupting the daily and weekly routine that I've had for so long, which includes what and how I do Hive.

I do love and appreciate a consistent schedule and activities, but I also do very much need new experiences and interesting and enjoyable variety in my days and weeks. This has mostly been pushed off to the side, and it's been this way for more than a few years now. That is driving me crazy.

For me to return to a more balanced, integral, whole, and vital expression of myself and my life, I need to heal my heart, and to do that I need to be willing to face my profound pain, sadness, and grief that I've locked away inside. That is a pretty scary and formidable task, I've got to say, and I don't even know where or how to start anymore. That's a bit of a bugger.

I truly wish that healing my shattered heart were a quick and easy thing to do, but sadly it's not, at all. It feels like I'm up against a rock and a hard place, as the saying goes, and something's got to give, so some notably different decisions and actions on my part are indeed necessary, and soon.

Yesterday, Monday, I wasn't feeling well pretty much the entire day, so after finishing up my Hive-Blurt-'We Are Alive Tribe' tasks, I laid down in my bed, to close my eyes and rest for a short while. I finally left the Flow House somewhere around 3PM, giving my attention to some photography for my posts first. I didn't have the energy, focus, or motivation to do almost anything, so aside from chopping and dumping some bad/used coconuts at the upper coco bar, I spent a good portion of the day laying in the sun on the trampoline in the Peanut Lawn, which did help. The sun always makes me feel better, so when I'm not feeling well, getting sun is one of the first things that I do. I finally went to Wabisabi to make myself some food, which I ate there, as I finished the rest of my superfood fire coffee. After that, I returned to the Flow House to focus on getting everything on Hive done, and then going straight to bed, which I ended up doing by just after 8:15PM. The sleep definitely helped, and I did feel a bit better when I woke up around 6:45AM. After uploading the photos for this post, I went to make my superfood fire coffee in Wabisabi, then I headed back to the Flow House to write and publish my Weekly-Hive-Goals-and-Progress update, and to write this post. I've been feeling pretty off so far again today, even after laying down in bed for a bit. Yep, changes are coming soon, one way or another. It's now just after 1:15PM, so it's a good time to wrap this up, so that I may attend to my few other important Hive-Blurt-'We Are Alive Tribe' tasks, before leaving the Flow House a little later in the afternoon, to focus first on photography for my posts, and then on some jungle-community/land work and tasks. I deeply appreciate y'all so very much! Until tomorrow's expression of these posts! Always forward, onward, upward, and whaleward, ho, together we go! 😁 🙏 💚 ✨ 🤙

2026 Life Goals

1.) Do regular integral practices again, alone or with others.

2.) Prepare regular batches of my medicinal teas collected from the land again.

3.) Make my plant nursery, and the gardens, beautiful again.

4.) Begin learning relevant coding/programming languages to more fully contribute to the sovereignty-driven technologies where I am active, like Arch Linux, Hive, Qortal, DeSo, and Bastyon.

All photos were taken with my Motorola G Play 2024 Android Phone.

Thank you all so much who have helped me get to where I am today, and allowing me to share more of the beauty and magic from my life and my world with you, and for your continuous appreciation and support! I am truly deeply grateful! 😁🙏💚✨🤙

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