When Help Hurts

Children are the most vulnerable among us humans, and I believe that's why child services agencies were set up to protect them, of which I believe a system that works towards helping and preventing child abuse, neglect, or exploitation is one every society needs to help vulnerable children. While I've seen these work out in top-world countries, here in my country, Nigeria, where we have complex family ties that are rooted deeply in the various cultural dynamics and the like, it has made these more complex and resulted in me having mixed feelings about how the welfare of child services is being handled, or should I just say how it doesn't operate effectively like top-world countries?

To start with, talking about child services in Nigeria, it's worth noting that it's quite the opposite of what we see in top world countries such as the UK and the US. In truth, we have laws in place that protect children, and the agency responsible for that in the country is the Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development. Only Lagos State has one that focuses on child services alone, and that's the Ministry of Youth and Social Development. The truth is that while these laws and policies are in place, it's heartbreaking to see that they're poorly enforced, as we get to see multiple cases of child abuse that go unreported or perpetrators go unpunished despite being reported or caught in the act. I myself was a victim of those during my childhood, and to date, nothing has been done.

I remember a few years ago when the parents of a student in a neighboring school got divorced and they both had to remarry. The mother, who couldn't take her daughter to her new marriage, put the girl in the care of a male teacher, who ended up turning the girl into his sex toy, where he and his friends took them at will. Although at the end of the day the secret was exposed and the teachers involved ended up having their jobs terminated, what I expected was that they'd be immediately arrested and jailed, but the reverse was the case, as they were released back into society.

My major concern in all of these is that had there been an effective child services here in Nigeria, such an agency would have stepped in to take the child away to either reinstate her to a better home or cater for her well-being, which would have meant she wouldn't have faced all of that trauma and sex abuse that led to this teacher raping her and having her terminate multiple pregnancies.

I've read and seen videos of real-life stories of cases child services tackle in western countries, whereby they sometimes take children away from their parents until they resolve issues between them or at the sight of abuse. While this is a great move that has helped a lot of children, we can't also neglect the fact that it has caused damage to some families as well, because they don't understand some family cultures, styles of parenting, and financial situations. They often just barge in and take actions, which often cross the line, all in the name of trying to help.

Do not get me wrong; it's not like I'm against intervention. In fact, I believe it's necessary because every child deserves to be raised in an environment free of violence, drugs, and extreme cases of neglect. All I'm saying is that while they're doing this, there should be a balance in a way where they just don't go about separating children from their parents. Taking them alone often leads to emotional damage and trauma to not just the child but their parents as well. No one is perfect, so they should try and analyze the situation very well before jumping into action, except when it's obvious that separating them is the last option.

Talking about if there's a better way to do this, yes, I believe so, and that's for children's services to play more of a supportive role by educating parents, providing resources, and even offering parenting classes or counseling, rather than just striking like they often do. In countries like ours, I believe if they could join forces with community leaders, like street landlord chairmen, they would be able to not only get full information about such families but also be able to be present in helping resolve issues and guiding parents to do the right things.

Overall, the best way forward in child services, be it here in Nigeria or abroad, is for them to be more humane in their approach and not the usual bureaucratic actions. While I agree that we must do all it takes to protect children at all costs, I believe it'll be better if we protect families' emotional bonds and culture because they're what often make childhood more sacred, and we can't, because we want to protect the child at all costs, go on to unknowingly hurt the child and the family at large.

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All photos are taken and edited on canva.

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