KEEPING EVERYTHING IN CHECK

Some months back, I started feeling overwhelmed, and the reason was that things were beginning to get to me. Even though I was eating well, it was as though I was always drained and it was physically telling on me. It grew to a point where my company had to put me on compulsory sick leave after I passed out at my office space. The funny thing was I wasn't sick, I was just mentally drained. It was the first time I saw myself pass out talkless passing out because I was thinking too much. There was a lot I was handling and I was handling them all at the same time. Not that anyone cared, but it was my job, and I cared so much about it. The issue I was having wasn't in the fact that I cared so much about my job, it was the fact that I didn't consider to care about myself.

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I am one who always advocates for self-care, I thought by eating a lot I was caring for myself, but then my experience showed me that I wasn't doing enough. During my forceful sick leave, I discovered some things about myself that had changed, first of all, was that it was now difficult for me to watch movies. Movies used to be my routine when I was beginning to get worked up, but each time I now try to watch, I find myself craving to work or play games. By the way, I was advised to drop games or anything that would make my heart race. But this was becoming difficult to stop. The only thing I was able to do was sleep Wake up, eat and sleep again but after doing that twice sleeping became difficult.

I found myself going to visit friends but since my visits had become rare in recent times, they weren't expecting me when they did not allow me to spend the much-needed time with them just so they could go back to their lives without me. I was beginning to see that I had been so busy and was forgetting the things that really mattered to me. However, I started enjoying my time off when I got to spend some quality time with my girlfriend. We just went to different places to just have a breath of fresh air. I realized that the reason that helped was not because I went to a new place in particular, but because I went there with someone I love. Little by little I was watching movies again, but this time it wasn't alone.

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Ever since then, when I ever feel like I was doing too much, I take some time to talk with my girlfriend, my sister or any friend I have with me. I try to participate in whatever they are doing at that point which shifts my brain from thinking about the norms to not thinking at all because I'm busy doing things I wasn't doing on the norms. At one point, it was me doing the dishes with my girlfriend when she came around. Normally I don't even like washing anything, but when I did that I saw she was happy and I was happy because all we did was talk as we did the dishes. It was the first time I didn't see it as work but leisure. I guess it's my brain now redefining what work really means lol.

THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO HIVE LEARNER'S PROMPT FOR WEEK 142 EPISODE 1