The Version People See Versus the One I Carry

This prompt actually reminds me of a lot of things, different views that some people have about me. But let me start way back during my secondary school days. I used to be this easygoing guy, even till now. I hardly interact with people, just with my guys. Because of that, some ladies labelled me as "proud" just because of my easygoing nature. Anytime I remember that, I will just smile, just like I am doing writing this. If only they knew how friendly I am, they wouldn't have said that, and I can recall my guys defending me against what those ladies said back then. And one of those ladies who joined them said that we are a bit close now and she never expected that I could be that friendly. I also recall how some of my friends usually see me as a strong person, like Iron Man, just because I always figure my things out, but they never knew how confused I get inside sometimes.

Any time I hear some views about me from people, I usually take some time to think about it and compare it to who I really am. Because when I look at myself, I don't have everything figured out yet, and those who called me strong don't even know that at times, it usually takes time before I come up with a plan because I second-guess my decision at times. I worry about some things a lot more than I admit. Sometimes I have my chest filled up with how to do some things.

But when some people see me outside, they won't know what is going on in my head because I don't show it. I always remain calm and focused and always try to figure things out without bothering people around me. And this even bothers me at times. I could remember my elder sister telling me some time ago that I don't ask for help. I just smiled.

Sometimes, when I hear something about myself, it sometimes feels like I am deceiving them without even putting in effort. Like they were praising a version of me that I don't even get to see myself. But over time, I began to pay attention to myself more than I did before; maybe they are seeing the part of me that I have decided to ignore, which might be right.

There was a time a very close friend of mine came to me for advice, and I spoke from my mind without overthinking the matter. When she left, I discovered that what I said, I can also learn one or two from it, and to be honest, that moment stayed in my heart because it made me see myself in a very different way.

Now, when people say their opinion about me even though I don't ask for it, I take it like that without correcting them, and I try to utilize what they have said in a good way. Because I have gotten to realize that some of the things they say can be true and the version of me that I see and the one others see can exist. Maybe the real work is not only believing in the version I see in my. Maybe it's about balancing everything out because because these days when people call me strong man, I no longer try to convince them otherwise like I sometimes do among my guys, rather, I just take it like that and. And that doesn't mean that it's fake and I am okay with that because I am still becoming.

Thank you for reading.

_{Images created by Gemini AI}