The Money They Never Taught Me to Hold

Here, I will be giving a little personal story. While I was growing up, nobody gave me an allowance. I always asked for anything I needed. And if the answer is yes from my parent, they send me the money. But if it is a no, I move on. I was not covetous or something; I was always okay. And that was how things were for me, which I thought was okay for years. It was later when I grew up that I got to realize that I was struggling to make some decisions when it came about money without hesitation or guilt, and then, I began to connect the dots to my house those days.

And this is what most people will never say, let alone talk about loudly. Whenever financial needs of any child are justified to his parents, trust me, what they are learning is more than patience. They are learning that if someone does not say "YES", the money won't be approved, or they keep saying "waiting." They are learning to shrink their desires before speaking them. Another thing they might be learning is that they always feel like whatever they are putting their money on is a matter subject to judgment. And some of us took these lessons right to our adult age because they caused some kind of damage until we unlearn it.

Most parents usually think that giving children allowance is about spoiling them. I totally disagree, because of what I have learned now, seen, and heard. If I give my children allowance, it is not about me giving them money just because they are my children. For me, it is about giving them a small, secured environment for them to practice making decisions with real-life consequences, while i am watching them to always guide and point them towards the right thing to do. Sometimes, I will allow them to spend it on what they want, let them finish it before the next one comes in, and see them sit with that feeling. Doing that will make them realize that money comes and it goes and choosing the way they spend it always matters. If I am able to teach them that way, they will adapt to it rather than leaving them to learn the hard way when they are mature or staying on their own.

Though some parents will always say that they are giving them daily food, living under their roof, paying for all their bills, and buying them clothes. Yes, that is true and exactly what any parents should do. But giving kids the basic provisions they need and giving them financial education are two different things. The first one I mentioned is just for their body needs, while the second is just to make them have the money mentality in a personal way they will always learn from in order to make a better decision. And it is possible that I give them both.

When I was growing up, I never lacked all the necessary things just that I never got to know about the personal relationship on how to hold and manage money. I had to learn it on my own without needing someone else's permission first. And for that reason, I wouldn't want my children to be raised in a way like that.

I grew up in a home where I lacked nothing necessary but was never taught how to hold money. It took me years to unlearn the feeling that spending, even on legitimate things, required someone else's permission first. I would not wish that confusion on any child I ever raise.

---

🔗 Apps which I recommend built by sagarkothari88

🎗️ Support & 🤙 Contact sagarkothari88

---

---

Thank you for reading.

_{Images created by Gemini AI}