The Hard Work of Changing My Mind

At times, when we reach the age of accountability, we begin to take some responsibility by deciding to grow up in a way that we try to unlearn some of the things that we were once very sure about.

That time, when I saw the way some people work without proper rest, they worked like there is no tomorrow. To me, I had been programmed in my mind that that is the only way to make it in life, and it is a sign of being serious. And I am sure that a lot of people also used to believe this back then. If you are not constantly doing something, what comes to the mind of some people is that you are lazy, and they will be advising you to stop wasting away time. I have seen this happen to someone I know; she even told me that the eyes gaze from people she is close to carried a lot of judgment without opening their mouth to talk to her.

I have kept working on myself by doing some online work during the daytime, learning some new architectural software to aid my designs, and at night I do some hustles. I am not overloading myself; it just feels like I had to justify my existence with effort.

At the moment, what I am currently learning but still looks like a big deal to me because it sometimes looks uncomfortable is rest. I am not talking about that usual rest the lazy people talk about. I am referring to the proper rest. The type of rest where I will not have to be thinking about what is the next thing to do, not feeling guilt. The type of rest where my mind is at peace without wondering about.

Some things look very simple, like resting. But the truth is that the pressure that comes with it is sometimes very hard. Because most times, I do see myself and hear that I can do more instead of resting comfortably. Sometimes slowing down feels wrong, but it is not.

But lately I have realized a lot of things that are very crucial after a series of stories and even a close experience that I saw. I got to realize that working and working without proper rest can later result in some illness that would break down the body, but we might not notice on time. And I have gotten to realize that a stressed mind does not always think straight as expected. When someone is tired, they might not make a rational decision.
And even in church, after hearing a series of messages on how God has instructed us to always be patience and have faith, a lot of us still rush and keep things running even in our heads.

So after what I saw last on how stress can kill someone over time, I have started teaching myself a different pattern. Yes, it is good to work hard, but now i take breaks too as long as I want with no pressure. I cool myself down when necessary with something light. Sometimes I take a stroll around my street or even in my compound which gives me breath again. Though it is still a journey in progress because I still work without rest sometimes. But I am learning and trying to keep the balance which has been giving me little little peace in my mind so far.

Thank you for reading.

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