The Weight Of Unforgiveness
Forgiving and forgetting are often used together, but with distinct concepts. While forgiving is a conscious choice to let go of anger, resentment towards the person who caused the hurt, forgetting is losing memory of past hurts/ not been able to recall the event. So both are not a package deal.
It is very much possible to forgive wholeheartedly and still not forget such uneven occurrences. In fact it is important that one doesn't forget the experience that broke their trust so as to not fall victim twice for the same thing. Forgetting may or may never occur after forgiveness but the ability to not react wrongly after remembrance shows that you have indeed forgiven your offender. As much as the word forgiveness sounds easy and pronounced almost every day, it is not an easy thing to do that's why the word of God says to err is human and forgiveness divine because we indeed need the help of God to let go of hurts especially when it's from someone you least expect.
On different occasions I have been offended by one that doesn't deserve my forgiveness but remembering how God forgave me my sins and Christ Jesus died for me even when I never loved him I pray that he teaches me and helps me to forgive my offender. This has been my best and fastest way of practicing forgiveness because left for my human nature I won't have forgiven and one bad thing about not forgiving is that you are the one who goes about carrying the weight of unforgiveness when the one who actually is at fault walks about freely so praying to God to help me let go is my number one strategy.
Like I said earlier, for the fact I am no longer angry with you doesn't mean I have forgotten what transpired between us and this is me saying I have forgiven from the depth of my heart. Your wrong deeds may not necessarily be remembered each time I see you, but it flashes back when something of the same nature is about to occur or when I want to address an issue.
So I have this friend of mine who betrayed my trust....... I lend her some money so she could get herself a new phone and because I was not in need of the remaining balance, I foolishly gave it to her to keep for me since she assured me she wasn't gonna touch it. We were cool not until I requested my money and it turned into stories. At first she said her elder brother stole it and because I wasn't convinced, I asked her siblings only to realize it was all cock and bull story. After so much persistence to get my money back, I was only paid half of it that I had to let go. Men....it was hard oh but I scaled through. I informed my brother about everything that transpired and he advised me never to lend what I can't freely giveaway and that has been with me till date. Did I forgive her? sure I did.... but did I forget, certainly not else I won't be telling the story today. so I will wrap up by saying forgiving and forgetting is tricky but an unrealistic demand because forgetting is not guaranteed.
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Thank you for your time reading through, peace.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot.