A child's future is more about his mindset and the parents' upbringing only has a little effect on his life...
We have seen orphans become great people in life so have we seen children with single parenting turning out well and doing good, and we have heard cases where a child whose parents have a good social standing turned out to be worst in life, I am never going to put a blame on the parent, all the blame goes to the child.
A man gave birth to two children, one grew up hating alcohol while the second one grew up to be a drunkard, when they were asked why their life turned out that way, the one that disliked alcohol said he hated the way his father was a drunkard and how he embarrass himself whenever he got drunk and that made him vow never to have anything to do with alcohol in his life while the other one who became a drunkard said he picked the habit from his father.
That was 2 children from the same father but with different mindsets... So no matter the teachings and upbringing, a child will become what he chose to be.
I grew up with love from both parents, but still, I won't say I was proud of my early teenage years, I did not take life that seriously, I just wanted to play, I used to gamble a lot and my mum tried her best to change me, there are days she would come searching for me with a cane and other days she would wait for me at home to discipline me but that still did not stop me from going out to engage in stuff.
There was a time I sneaked out of the house to attend a night party but I did not like the smell of smoke, it made me feel so uncomfortable nor did I like noise, so that automatically disqualified me from such a lifestyle, I could not stay long there before I sneaked back into the house. I was not feeling the party so I ruled that out, but imagine If I happened to love it, I could easily get addicted to such a lifestyle too... Will you still blame the parent for that?
My mum's iron fist could not change my mindset, a few years later, I visited my cousin, and the things I saw at her place and 15 minutes of words of encouragement changed my mindset, it made me ponder about the life I am living and if it is going to take me anywhere and If I can achieve the things she talked to me about... So I set my mind to purpose and the two things I did were letting go of my peers who were bad influences, secondly changing the environment to start life afresh, and leaving the past behind really helped me.
If my cousin was not successful in changing my mindset, I probably do not know what I would become now.
A parent's absence does not change what a child will become, even though things might be rough because no love can be compared with the love of a parent, and no one can treat a child better than those who give birth to him but still a child without parent love or single parent can become someone great if he or she mindset is a good one.
Some children are a time bomb waiting to explode, a good example is how some children turn out to become something else when they gain admission into the school and are now far away from their parents, they start to live a wild life which their parent knows nothing about while some still remain the good and decent child they are, our parents will try their best but our future lies in our mindset.
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Ahh....would i disagree with you for a bit? Yes, what forms a child mindset is basically their upbringing, you know children learn easily from what they see and hear, no matter how a child mindset is, he or she will be closer to either parents amd that will influence the type of mindset they grow up with, some children are closer to their mother so they tend to create their mindset from what their mother would say, like in your case you felt free with your cousin thats why what she said got to you,
For me, my mom's words has always been my strongest bedrock to making some key decisions in life and it has worked
ok, let me ask some questions since you believe that what forms a child's mindset is their upbringing.
Why are some pastor's children living a wayward lifestyle and their fathers ain't like that?
The story about the two children whose father was a drunkard, they both had the same upbringing, right? why is the first child mindset different from the second.?
Yah i've heard that case scenerio a lot, just to depicts two different societal mindset,
about pastors children, different factors also influence this children, remember their parent do not go with them every were, they are also cases were pastors children also becomes pastors, but in the other case let say society already place a bounty on them to become like their parent which will now cause them to act otherwise, so peer presure becomes more on them, the point i'm making is the family is the first point of contact a child has before going out there, so what you see is either the family has failed in their role, so these kids now fall to the available alternatives like friends and what they watch on tv and society in general
However if the family unit gets it right, they are kids that uphold family virtue very strong, Dangotes wealth today was transgenerational but same thing happen to chalie boy false and others who despite wealth and family status choose otherwise.
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Thank you
This is such a great writing. Truly whatever a child wants to become is shaped by their mindset
Thanks man... Indeed, we can force a horse to the river but can't force it to drink water, the parent can only shower the child with love and advice, the child would be the one to decide his path
Children with single parents or orphans grow more stronger than the child with parents because they learn to manage the easily in their early age and you're right too it's children's choice to become something in life.
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those child had to experience the harshness of life early and that shaped their mindset I believe
Yes they become a different personality at the end
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What you share with us today is very true. We cannot blame parents for the actions of their children, because in the end we all have that free will in life that allows us to be people who know how to live in society in a civilized way 🌎.
Again, this post is very very good ✨👏🏽. And well it's nice to read that your experiences are in the back and not stopping you :3
Definitely leave the past in the back it's ASAP if we really want to start making changes in our lives 💜
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Thanks Helicre, leaving my former area was one of the best decisions I took in life...
Well, I think, the situation varies case to case.
I agree that even the careful parenting may not be successful in bringing the best in the child. Multiple factors are at play.
multiple factors are indeed at play but in the end, it is still about the mindset and the decision of the child.
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I definitely can relate with the time bomb aspect. Put some children in a different environment, and you see their character explode into something dramatically different from the previous environment they were in. I think many factors are at play when it comes to how a child will turn out as he/she grows older. Definitely not fair to blame the parents if a child turns out to become something that's perceived as "not good".
Father and mother both have different roles to play and missing anyone obviously makes an impact on the life of a child. It's the reality if we avoid some exceptions. But again mindset of a child play the most important role and I can't deny it.
If you didn’t go to your cousin’s place, your mindset may not change
This is why it is good for kids to explore and see people in different parts of the world so that it can change their mindset and also make them better people
It is a fact that parents think a lot and work hard for the good features of their children and the way things are going today, the children are working hard but they could not get anything special because of the bad conditions in the country.