The Complexities Of Marriage: Age, Commitment and Choice

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There is an argument that marriage is not an achievement, but I want to argue otherwise because I believe marriage is. Well, not marriage in the technical aspect, but succeeding in it.

The other day my friend was telling me about considering subscribing to the baby mama institution and just have his children without commitment. Of course I advised him that's even worse because what happens when him or his baby mama starts to crave commitment and wants to move on? what happens to the children? While he was quiet and gave no response, I assume he got the memo.

You see, when it comes to marriage, we have different people from different backgrounds, perspectives, and walks of life coming together to compromise. I said compromise because in a marriage a whole lot of time disagreements abound, which might often lead to quarrels or fights if not carefully handled.

Thus, people say marriage is not a bed of roses. Like parenting, marriage is an institution that gives you the opportunity to learn more about and improve yourself while at it. So, given the technicalities of marriage, should age be a factor for or against a person's choice of life partner? Well, I believe it should, and I will explain why.

First of all, it all depends on what we want in a marriage.For couples looking for children, both of them need to be young and in their best years because there is nothing cute about doing school runs or being pregnant in one's old age. I believe as we age, we should strive to put everything in place for a smooth retirement when we get to just enjoy life without any side labor.

But of course it's very easy to cheat life and be at an advantageous position even where we are disadvantaged, and the only factor that can make this so is money. Over the years we've seen science defy the odds of reproduction such that people can be parents without the old-fashioned methods of procreation. With money, age becomes irrelevant to a large extent, as we can simply buy our way out of certain situations.

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I have had several situations where older men indicated interest in marrying me. Most of these men were already divorced even before I was born, so technically they've lived the better part of their years while I'm just starting mine. In this case, age is already a big factor leaving these men at a disadvantaged position, but then, like I said, marriage is all about our choices and what it is we are looking for.

So if I'm looking for a soft landing as per the easy way out of life's financial struggles, these men automatically transcend from a disadvantaged position to be at a greater advantage. Such a union has a high likelihood of surviving and succeeding, as we can see in the case of Lionel Richie and his longtimegirlfriend of a decade.

On the flip side, we see younger men going for older women for the same reason. All is fair in love and war and I have since learned to respect people's choices and judge less because we are not wired the same, and the thing is, whatever decision that we take, no one else but us will live with the consequences.