I'm currently doing a deep dive into the neurophysiology of trauma with an incredible teacher named Irene Lyon. That might sound fancy or complicated but really what I'm trying to understand is this:
How do I process/resolve/integrate the bad, scary things that happened to me that have been stored in my body ever since they happened? And how do I do that safely?
In the process of learning about what trauma really is (there's so much misunderstanding around this term) and how common it is for people everywhere to experience trauma (it's not just having a massive stress response caused by living through a typhoon, a war, or some kind of abuse, though it can also happen by living through such things), I'm also realising just how much of this sh#t I have still stored in my body!!
I am learning that so many things that happened in my past I did not have the knowledge or the capacity to deal with or process the experiences properly at the time and all of it - everything I did not process - is still stored in my body. In my case (and perhaps in your case as well?) the body has experienced:
Learning that the experiences I've had - and that we've all had to varying degrees, even if your list is a little different to mine - are actually kinds of trauma that are still living in my body is somewhat confronting, but mostly it's empowering. To realise that the health challenges, business challenges, financial challenges and relationship challenges I've had are not my fault - that I'm not broken or faulty or lazy just because I haven't been able to solve these issues as easily or quickly as I would like - is an incredible relief.
The things that have happened to me have caused my body to endlessly try and keep me safe, even by keeping things away from me that I know I want like better health, more money and (even) better relationships. I'm learning that my body and mind have been programmed to protect me in particular ways. They are desperately trying to keep me safe.
Turns out I've been stuck in "survival mode" for, probably, my entire life. It seems that most of us are operating in survival mode, even those of us in relatively safe, relatively rich countries.
Very few people are genuinely calm and content, joyful and peaceful most of the time. Some people never experience these states. And yet, that's how human beings are designed to operate most of the time.
This is what life is supposed to look like as a human being:
Body/mind is: Calm, joyful and engaging with others.
(Insert threat)
Body-mind shifts to: Aware and alert, and takes necessary action to protect itself (through "fight" or "flight").
Once the threat has been fought off or successfully run away from, the body/mind then releases/processes/integrates the stress chemicals it created to deal with the threat (and emotional experience that resulted from said stress chemicals) and it goes back to the normal, default state...
Body/mind is: Calm, joyful and engaging with others.
But our various so-called civilised societies have not encouraged this processing of stressful/traumatic events.
It is extremely likely that you, like me, have never been taught how to integrate/process events after they happen. And most of us have been actively taught the opposite; to suppress and depress our emotions and sensations so we can "be a polite member of society" or "be a good girl" or "toughen up like a real man".
This advice, over many generations, in societies around the world has caused us to get sick and stay sick, experience chronic pain, end up in one dysfunctional, toxic or abusive relationship after another, and have endless financial woes.
We have a laundry list of diagnoses of all the things that are "wrong" with us, with our families, and with our friends. But, according to Irene and those who are truly experts in this field (of the nervous system, the body-mind connection and the creation and resolution of trauma) all agree that almost all of these diagnoses have just one root cause: stored survival stress.
Irene and her colleagues in this world of trauma healing teach us that stored survival stress needs to be integrated over time, in a safe container, with a nervous system that can handle the task of processing the past "big scary things" that happened to us.
That might sound complicated but it's really not. Yes, to do so means learning a few new concepts and a few new skills. Yes, it takes practising these new skills over time so they become as automatic and normal as brushing your teeth or cleaning your face. But all of this is doable, even for small children.
I'm delighted to be learning how to resolve past pain more deeply and effectively than ever before. I'm delighted to have found someone who is a genuine expert in this relatively new space. The healing industry is filled with well-meaning people who don't understand the whole, big picture of the body and mind as a whole and it's so wonderful to have someone to learn from who truly does know so much more on this topic than anyone I've ever studied with before.
Over the coming weeks, months and years you can expect to find this woman (me) becoming a calmer, healthier, wealthier, more joyful and more empowered human, leader and teacher than ever before. My goal is to have the most regulated nervous system I've ever had in my life.
If that sounds good to you and you want that for yourself as well then check out Irene's work. She has heaps of free videos and resources on YouTube to help you get started.
Wow. You are speaking my language.
The Heart Math Institute has a remarkable program for understanding Trauma and how we can manage our lives with Joy/Grief in one hand and Trauma/Recovery in the other.
Oooh. Interesting. I love that there are more and more resources available these days on this important topic.
Educational and emotive. As you say, most of us have lived through some sort of trauma. Iβm so glad that youβre finding a measure of resolution β€οΈππ€
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Me too! β€οΈππ€
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So keen to watch these. Have you read The Body Keeps The Score?
Awesome.
Book: Not yet. It's been on my (very long) to-read list since I first heard about it. (More books get added than I can possibly keep up with my reading speed! So I default to listening to a LOT of videos while I read slowly).
Have you read it (The Body Keeps The Score)? And if so, how did you find it?
I loved it. Game changer. It made oodles of sense. I know everyone in trauma circles recommends it. Couldn't put it down..
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Such an intense post Caroline! I have so much to learn from you and I'm very grateful to have met you π
This is probably one of the root causes of not processing the emotions and trauma in a proper way.
Actually your post made me think in the way children are born... There's been a lot of talking and new information about not only Obstetric Violence but Neonatal violence and how they are both connected.
Since the introduction of modern medicine in a physiological process, birth is now widely viewed as a pathology, and it's worst on 'rich/developed' countries (not everywhere, but mostly). And with this comes the separation of the newborn from the mother as soon as he/she is born and sometimes to do some painful exams!
This really gets me nervous... To think that one moment that newborn is in a warm, cozy and safe place, and the next they have strong lights on top, loud noises, people touching and cleaning... It's just seems to much stress for a brand new nervous system operating...
Of course skin-to-skin with the mother as soon as the newborn comes is essential for them to regulate their biological systems, however here in my country that doesn't happen most of the times. So I wonder if we all don't have birth trauma in us π€π€π€
Thank you so much for this wonderful post and resources π You are a GEM! π
!LUV
Ah, I love your comment here darling. Thank you. Now you know why I was so excited when I read your intro and I could see what you were (are) passionate about; I knew we were totally on the same page about something that's super important to us both.
The more we know Margarida, the more we can help our communities and societies course correct. Even if we only teach people after the fact, just by knowing this stuff as an adult makes it easier to know how to heal. The earlier we can share it with people, the better.
BTW, do you know how to reorient? It will help any time you read something like this that you find really intense. If you want to learn and don't want to wait for me to explain it here, just look on YouTube for: "Irene Lyon reorienting" and you'll likely find a better explanation than I can give anyway :)
!LUV you!
@consciouscat(1/4) gave you LUV. H-E tools | discord | community | <>< daily
I'm so glad we found each other π€
You're totally right! I'm very focused on trying to understand my triggers and trying to heal... I realise there's so much trauma in all of us that all we can do is to learn how to cope with it better π
I don't! Thank you so much for the resources π I'll bookmark it to whatch as soon as I get a chance, its really a topic that very much interest me π Irene Lyon.. That name isn't strange to me... I think it was you who already told me about her in another comments right? π
!LUV back and have a awesome weekend my darling β£οΈβ£οΈ !hivebits
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So much to learn here! I've definitely lived through some sort of trauma especially as a teenager and it's been something that keeps coming back to mind even when I don't want to think about it. I think these videos will be of great help. Thanks for sharing π₯°.
You are so welcome @teknon. I've been watching one video almost every day and just layering in learnings. I'm learning so much and finding it so helpful! Sounds like it might be really helpful for you too with the things you've experienced. Big gentle hugs π€
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