SECRET N °° 362 The Great War of the Chairs chapter 4 ( ENG / FR )


ENG


Chapter 4: The Debris and the Debate

When the last cushion falls back onto the old rug, the entire living room suddenly seems vast, emptied of its fury. In the light filtering through the threadbare curtains, dust floats like an unexpected veil of peace. All around, the Wooden Chairs, battered and cracked, struggle to steady their legs as best they can. The Straw Chairs, their bristles still ruffled, smooth out their seats and reweave their braids with great strokes of imaginary thread. The silence is heavy at first, almost awkward, like after a family argument whose origin no one quite remembers.

At the center of the field of wood shavings, General Stiff-Back stands tall, but his frame is chipped, pierced by a ridiculous splinter that still trembles with every movement. Beside him, Straw-Cushion still perches on his makeshift stool, but his frayed strands hang like the bristles of an old broom. Between them, Bold-Stool, the little backless piece of furniture, holds up at arm’s—or rather, leg’s—length the plush cushion he had brandished like a banner of wisdom. Around them, the troops form a hesitant circle. The floorboards creak, a few straw strands snap, and rusty hinges sigh.

Then, a debate begins. Stiff-Back coughs, as if to assert his importance, then speaks, his grating voice rising above the draft from the half-open door. He speaks of the Honor of Wood, the nobility of straight fibers, the pride of sturdy legs, and the dignity granted by a firm, upright frame. He thunders that yielding to a cushion is to renounce firmness, to abandon discipline. But Straw-Cushion scoffs—his voice is supple, light, almost mocking. He couldn’t care less about the rigidity of wood: what matters is adaptability, the softness that molds to form, the adjustable comfort woven straw offers to those who know how to settle into it. Around them, exhausted chairs nod, swaying left and right like a field of sunflowers without a sun.

Bold-Stool, too small for grand speeches, climbs onto the gutted old sofa to make himself heard. He reminds them of what he understood first: a cushion is not an enemy. A cushion is a bridge, a hyphen between wood and straw, between rigidity and flexibility. His little voice rings out, clumsy but clear. He even recites—with comical seriousness—verses he improvises on the spot:

"A cushion laid, and all is swayed,
Wood and straw entwined, a back’s pain allayed."

Around him, a few Wooden Chairs nod their frames with approving creaks. A Cane Chair murmurs that she’s always dreamed of sitting on something softer than a creaky floorboard. A Rustic Bench, its leg clumsily patched, concedes that a cushion isn’t betrayal—it’s an alliance. In a corner, the old Rocking Chair sways without a word, as if meditating under his breath. His slow rocking sets the rhythm of the debate like a metronome.

And suddenly, from the depths of the room, a new voice rises. No one has heard it in years. It’s the old Sofa, enthroned against the wall, gutted yet majestic despite the springs jutting from its sides. With a groan of weary coils, it declares that it is living proof that a good cushion changes everything. Once the king of comfort, it had offered naps, endless conversations, and drowsy dreams to generations of human backsides. Without cushions, it is but a limp skeleton, a heap of wood and gutted foam. With cushions, it could once again be a throne for the imagination.

The chairs listen. Some close their eyes (or what passes for eyes) and imagine a world where hard wood no longer aches the spine, where straw no longer leaves marks on thighs, where comfort becomes a shared affair. Slowly, the idea takes hold. A Wobbly Stool turns to an old High Chair, offering a scrap of cushion torn from the reserve pile. A Cracked Bench stretches out for a moment on the old rug, trying to imagine what it feels like to rest its planks on something soft.

In this philosophical chaos, an old Withered Armchair—almost forgotten behind a curtain—lets out a creaky laugh: "All this time, we’ve been fighting over who’s more comfortable… when all we had to do was sit together on the same cushion…" He chuckles, sinks into his own tattered frame, and promptly falls asleep. Around him, a ripple passes through the ranks. Even Stiff-Back lowers his rigid frame for a moment, as if finally accepting the idea of trading a bit of firmness for a touch of softness.

And so, in this devastated living room—where sawdust and straw tangle amidst gutted cushions—the draft of a peace treaty is born. An absurd pact, like everything that’s happened so far: Wood and Straw, united by Plushness. A cushioned pact, ready to cradle weary frames and frayed strands. Outside, a gust of wind carries off a straw strand and a wood shaving into the morning light. On the old rug, Bold-Stool finally sits down. For the first time, he truly sits: on a cushion, soft, warm, shared. And in the sudden silence, only one satisfied creak is heard—that of the Rocking Chair, swaying with the certainty that a simple cushion can change everything.

FR


Chapitre 4 : Les Décombres et le Débat

Lorsque le dernier coussin retombe sur le vieux tapis, le salon entier paraît soudain immense, vidé de sa fureur. Dans la lumière filtrée par les rideaux élimés, la poussière flotte comme un voile de paix inattendu. Partout, des Chaises en Bois, cabossées, fêlées, remettent leurs pieds d’aplomb tant bien que mal. Les Chaises en Paille, les brins encore hérissés, défroissent leurs assises et recousent leurs tresses à grands coups de fil imaginaire. Le silence est d’abord lourd, presque gênant, comme après une dispute de famille dont on ne sait plus très bien pourquoi elle a commencé.

Au centre du champ de copeaux, le Général Dossier-Rigide se tient droit, mais son dossier est ébréché, percé par une écharde ridicule qui tremble encore à chaque mouvement. À côté de lui, Coussin-de-Paille trône toujours sur son tabouret improvisé, mais ses brins effilochés pendent comme les mèches d’une vieille brosse à balai. Entre eux, Tabouret-Téméraire, le petit meuble sans dossier, soutient à bout de pieds le coussin moelleux qu’il a brandi comme un étendard de sagesse. Autour, les troupes forment un cercle hésitant. On entend craquer le parquet, claquer quelques brins, et soupirer quelques charnières rouillées.

C’est alors qu’un débat commence. Dossier-Rigide tousse, comme pour se donner de l’importance, puis prend la parole, sa voix grinçante couvrant le souffle du vent sous la porte entrouverte. Il parle de l’Honneur du Bois, de la noblesse des fibres droites, de la fierté des pieds solides et de la dignité qu’offre un dossier dur et droit. Il tonne que céder au coussin, c’est renoncer à la fermeté, à la discipline. Mais Coussin-de-Paille ricane, sa voix est souple, légère, presque moqueuse. Lui se moque bien de la droiture du bois : ce qui compte, c’est l’adaptabilité, la douceur qui épouse les formes, le confort modulable qu’offre la paille tressée à qui sait s’y poser. Autour d’eux, des chaises épuisées hochent de la tête, oscillant de droite et de gauche comme un champ de tournesols sans soleil.

Tabouret-Téméraire, trop petit pour faire de grands discours, grimpe sur le vieux canapé éventré pour se faire entendre. Il leur rappelle ce qu’il a compris le premier : un coussin n’est pas un ennemi. Un coussin est un pont, un trait d’union entre le bois et la paille, entre la rigidité et la souplesse. Sa petite voix résonne, maladroite mais lucide. Il cite même, avec un sérieux comique, des vers qu’il invente sur le moment : « Un coussin posé, et tout est apaisé / Bois et paille enlacés, dossier soulagé. »

Autour, quelques Chaises en Bois hochent leurs dossiers avec un grincement approbateur. Une Chaise Cannée murmure qu’elle a toujours rêvé de s’asseoir sur quelque chose de plus doux qu’un plancher grinçant. Un Banc Rustique, la jambe rafistolée de travers, concède qu’un coussin n’est pas une trahison, mais une alliance. Dans un coin, le vieux Rocking-Chair se balance sans un mot, comme s’il méditait à voix basse. Sa lente oscillation rythme le débat comme un métronome.

Et soudain, du fond du salon, une voix nouvelle s’élève. Personne ne l’a entendue depuis des années. C’est le vieux Canapé, trônant contre son mur, éventré mais majestueux malgré les ressorts qui percent ses flancs. Dans un gémissement de ressorts fatigués, il déclare qu’il est la preuve vivante qu’un bon coussin change tout. Lui, autrefois roi du confort, a offert des siestes, des discussions infinies et des rêves somnolents à des générations entières de fessiers humains. Sans coussin, il n’est plus qu’un squelette mou, un tas de bois et de mousse éventrée. Avec un coussin, il redeviendrait un trône pour l’imaginaire.

Les chaises écoutent. Certaines ferment les yeux, ou ce qui leur en tient lieu, et imaginent un monde où le bois dur ne fait plus mal aux vertèbres, où la paille ne laisse plus de marques sur les cuisses, où le confort devient une affaire commune, partagée. Lentement, l’idée fait son chemin. Un Tabouret bancal se tourne vers une vieille Chaise Haute, lui propose un morceau de coussin arraché au stock de la réserve. Un Banc craqué s’allonge un instant sur le vieux tapis, essayant de sentir ce que ça fait de poser ses planches sur du moelleux.

Dans ce capharnaüm philosophique, un vieux Fauteuil-Flétri, qu’on avait presque oublié derrière un rideau, tousse un rire grinçant : « Depuis le début, on se battait pour savoir qui est le plus confortable… alors qu’il suffisait de se poser ensemble sur le même coussin… » Il ricane, s’enfonce dans son propre dossier troué et s’endort aussitôt. Autour de lui, un souffle parcourt les rangs. Même Dossier-Rigide baisse un instant son dossier raide, comme s’il acceptait enfin l’idée de céder un peu de fermeté pour un zeste de douceur.

Et ainsi, dans ce salon dévasté, où la sciure et la paille s’enchevêtrent au milieu des coussins éventrés, naît l’ébauche d’un traité de paix. Un pacte absurde, comme tout ce qui s’est passé jusqu’ici : Bois et Paille, unis par le Moelleux. Un pacte coussiné, prêt à reposer les dossiers fatigués et les brins effilochés. Au dehors, le vent soulève une bourrasque qui emporte un brin de paille et un copeau de bois dans la lumière du matin. Sur le vieux tapis, Tabouret-Téméraire s’assoit enfin. Pour la première fois, il s’assoit vraiment : sur un coussin, moelleux, chaud, partagé. Et dans le silence soudain, on entend un seul grincement satisfait : celui du Rocking-Chair, bercé par la certitude qu’un simple coussin peut tout changer.


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