Eating Your Cake and Having It Via Feminism 😂
I know a funny story about girl and her boyfriend. She earns minimum wage, lives on her own, and goes to her boyfriend's house a lot. She spends days or weeks there sometimes, the duration is random. Her guy earns way more than her and he provides for her a lot. Almost completely, say 80%.
Then one day he came complaining to me that he has been having issues with this girl. He said he'll tell her to cook and she does sometimes but a lot of other times she would refuse. Sometimes the food is already made and he'll tell her to go fetch some for him and she'll say no.
Long story short, she agrees sometimes but a lot of other times she refuses to wash his clothes, clean the house, so the dishes, etc.
He told me these refusals usually lead to arguments and quarrels, and these are the issues.
I then went to talk to the girl about it all and she replied sharply that she is not a slave and would never be a slave. How can the guy be asking her to do chores and things for him like that as if she was his slave, the guy has no respect for her, she is a feminist and she wouldn't let him treat her like they aren't equals, etc etc.
And this is what makes the story very funny 🤣🤣. Do you see how funny it is or are you still waiting for me to explain further? Either way, let me spell it out.
Humanity has been making a lot of progress, but the fact still remains we live in a society that is largely patriarchal. Different countries/jurisdictions are patriarchal in varying degrees, though.
Due to the patriarchal setting, provision is a man's patriarchal role, while housekeeping is the woman's patriarchal role. This girl happily sits back and lets her boyfriend do his patriarchal role and when it is her turn to do hers she starts feeling like she is being used as a slave.
I asked her if she is a feminist and believes in equality, as he is giving her money and things why is she not also giving him money and things? As he's providing all the food they eat at home, why is she not telling him to hold up sometimes and let her provide?
I asked her how many of the things they use at home has she bought? Why has your feminism never kicked in while watching only one person do all the spending? 🤣🤣
Funny how she'll let him carry the burden of his patriarchal role, she sits down and enjoys it, while reciprocating sounds like slavery to her 🤣🤣.
At this point it seems like I'm going to point at feminism and say this is how crazy feminism is, and that this is how feminism is ruining society. But that's not the truth, feminism is NOT ruining society, but misunderstanding feminism is ruining society. Sadly, though, at least 80% of females who claim to be feminists misunderstand feminism.
Females because I've found that it is the male feminists that understand feminism more. The females can't really grasp it because a full grasp of it mostly means missing out on the things (provisions and protection) patriarchy affords them. They're mostly only good with the partial grasp, grasping only enough to be rid of the things patriarchy takes from them (housekeeping labours). 🤣🤣
A good understanding of feminism would have made this girl know that provision is this guy's patriarchal role and her letting him carry it out means she has to carry out hers or else it would not be fair.
If she doesn't like to carry out hers then he also doesn't have to carry out his. She has to also provide and still carry out chores, she has to aim for half of both (provision and housekeeping). And the guy is to do the same.
One of the main reasons patriarchal roles are misunderstood by many so called feminists is that a person providing doesn't make them look in a bad/derogatory way. Bringing out cash and spending it makes you look like a boss and there's nothing demeaning about that. But cleaning a house, doing the dishes, washing clothes, cooking, serving the food: these things make you look like a servant 🤣.
So no one ever really feels like it is oppressive to let someone else provide and spend money, but they feel it is oppressive to let someone be the one doing all the chores. Forgetting that they're just two compensating roles and if one person does one the other is to do the other. Except they want to share both roles and aim for balance.
[I created the photos used in this post via AI]
The End
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Hmmmm - I am going to counter you here, which I have before and you haven't responded haha. THe problem is the idea that “provision is a man's patriarchal role, while housekeeping is the woman's patriarchal role.”
Um - yep. That's the patriachy. Feminism is about questioning the bargain where 'men provide, women do housework'.
If they've decided together he'll provide money and she'll do the domestics, fine - if it's freely agreed. Not 'I give her money and she doesn't 'fetch'. That's not equality - that's a a transaction based on gender roles.
You've forgot that money isn't the only contribution here - people can contribute in other ways. If they don't, that's a relationship issue, not a failure of feminism.
Feminism doesn't say women have to reject the benefits that come from a relatiaonship with a man, but have the freedom to negotiate it rather than 'what, dude, I give her all this stuff and she doesn't 'fetch'* - a massively patriachal attitude. If she doesn't want to do that, fine - that's something he then has the freedom himself to go 'well, that's not the kind of relationship I was after - I wanted a sex slave and a cook'.
If you're honestly going to use the language of equality, you can't ask 'what's the women's patriachal role that she MUST perform', but 'what agreement has this couple made that's fair to both of them'.
There's a million ways that two adults can organise a relationship and a household. Maybe for him it's 50/50 financially and domestically. Maybe she's entered the relationship for love, not to pick up his socks.
What is funny about this piece is you start with the argument that feminism is about equality then you go into definiting equality as “he performs his patriarchal role, therefore she must perform hers.” 😂
That's just patriarchy with an invoice attached. Lmao.