Bottled Up Emotions, Broken Dishes, and the Hardest Conversations I’ve Had to Have.

Living with your best friend sounds like a dream, right? But for me, it quickly became a nightmare. Earlier this year, my very close friend moved in with me, and what seemed like the perfect arrangement soon turned into a never-ending string of issues. At first, it was the small things—who would wash the dishes or what lipgloss to wear for the day. Simple stuff, right? But it didn’t stay simple. Those little things turned into big problems.

We would argue over who’s responsible for the dishes, and sometimes, it felt like the biggest fight of the day. There were moments when I just wanted to walk away, but the tension was always thick in the air. It wasn’t just about the dishes. It was about so much more—the frustrations of living in each other’s space, dealing with each other’s habits, and the expectations we hadn’t even voiced. These little conflicts were enough to derail the entire day. We couldn’t even sit down to eat together without it feeling like we were both walking on eggshells. And don’t get me started on the lipgloss thing—it sounds so trivial, but it became symbolic of everything we weren’t saying, the little things that built up into something much bigger than either of us expected.

She’s confrontational, always ready to speak her mind, while I’ve always been the opposite. I bottle everything up, thinking if I don’t say anything, things will just go away. But they didn’t. The more I stayed quiet, the more resentment grew, and the more I felt suffocated. That silence was starting to take over my life in ways I didn’t even realize. It was affecting everything—from how we talked to each other, to the way I showed up in my other relationships, to how people might try to take advantage of me because they knew I wouldn’t speak up.

There came a point where I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep pretending that bottling things up would somehow fix things. It was breaking me. So, I started addressing the issues. And honestly, it was terrifying. I was so used to keeping things inside that speaking up felt like a complete violation of my own peace. But I had to do it—for me. And over time, it started to feel better. Not just with her, but with everyone. I started standing up for myself—when people tried to cheat me, when they tested my silence, I spoke up.
Is it easy? Hell no. Sometimes, I still feel like going back to the quiet version of myself who hides from conflict. But now, I know that speaking my truth is worth it. I’ve learned that staying quiet doesn’t protect my peace; it keeps me trapped. Speaking up, no matter how hard it feels in the moment, is freeing.

I’m not perfect at it yet, and there are days when I mess up. But each day, I’m becoming a version of myself I can be proud of—someone who isn’t afraid to confront, to communicate, and to protect her peace. It’s not about being confrontational—it’s about being real. And that’s the only way forward.

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Thank you for reading! 😊

JoJo 💜

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