Inside a man... who rescues him?
In a conversation with some people about not-so-trivial matters, someone asked me, "Why don't you just ask your parents for the money?" I was taken aback and took a while to respond. I was firstly surprised that a guy way older than me would run to Daddy for small things like battery replacement, but that wasn't my business, and so I replied, "Man, you're aware that not all fingers are equal, right?"
Knowing when to ask for help is important, that I admit. It's the idea of seeking how to be rescued by someone else that I don't quite feel comfortable with. Might come off as having ego, but when it comes to having problems, especially financially, it's often a solo mission for me. And I think that generally is the perspective for most men, but it's different for ladies.
Checking on a friend and how she's recovering, she shared with me, "You think the plenty of money I paid for these meds came from my salary? No, I got help." That's not something you would normally hear from a man. And it got me thinking, "What do men actually do when they are broke? Who rescues them?"
While I would see my female friends call dad, uncle, babe, tight pals, or whoever it may be when they need support, I hardly ever see my male friends do that. I have seen my closest guys dead-ass broke before, and how they go about is different. Generally, men would only borrow in the times that they're not at their best, if necessary, or at the very highest, ask really tight gees for something small to get by if things are so heated.
Women can be independent, of course, but they are generally favoured more than men. And that's alright, because men are built to be hunters, providers, leaders, protectors, and stoics, and it even reflects in their perspectives and decisions. So it adds up why you'd hear many guys say that they need to be solidly grounded before they start a family. Some would say, "When I have enough money, then I would begin to think of marriage."
Quite frankly, you would hardly see a woman who would be ambitious about settling for man that isn't made. Nobody wants to suffer, so it is more attractive to women to be with a man who can be a man and provide. It isn't the concept of gold-digging, but a matter of preference for wanting to be taken care of. Men understand this, hence they strive to become.
A man may not have it all in the beginning, but he has to at least be a visionary, must indeed be a leader, and at least have dreams and be passionate about and continually driven to build his kingdom. That's something a woman could recognise and choose to be there in his humble beginnings regardless of what he may have at that time, and be a helpmate. And I think it's the real attraction that people miss the mark when they say, "Women are attracted to men that ignore them."
Being ignored is not something enjoyable. Rather, it's the illusion that "he must be focused and goal-driven, so it explains why he doesn't seem to pay me much attention." In the end, women appreciate attention and care. I think that a man who is able to have visions, knows what he's chasing after, is focused, and can still show care and attention to a deserving woman is the real deal. And such a man should have a woman that would carry his dreams with him, truly stand by him, respect and admire him.
And decisions are more critical for men. Considering the roles to play—hunter, provider, leader, protector—it's crucial they don't miss in their decision-making. It's always about finding the balance. And to do this more effectively, they have to always try to be stoics and be objective in their approach to life. It's always imperative for them. Accolades to the ones that strive to be men.
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Males need to be self-dependent at any cost and I think it's not easy for a man to ask for money from his father as it's a matter of self-respect also. I don't ask for money from my father unless It's necessary because I feel I already turned 25 and at such an age depending on my father doesn't give me a good feeling.
!LUV
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You get the idea. I mean, I could still ask for help from my parents or whoever I could get it from, but I also consider it important to have the minself of being independent.
I always tell my female friends who tell me I'm always busy that they won't understand why I have to be busy. Unlike most of them, no one will take care of us if we fuck up. Men don't get unconditional love, so you wake up everyday scared about the fear of not suceeding and not getting the life you want, because you understand that to a large extent, finding a woman and being considered a man is tied to those things.
Mmm. I guess I've never really thought about it like this. It does make a lot of sense when you think of it.
I wanted to comment on another part of this post, but I'm struggling with wording what I want to say for it to be understood the right way. Maybe when I do, I'll add that as an edit. Otherwise, I'll bring it up on some random afternoon when I'm more organized. Lol
Man, I have had people say to me the same thing, that I'm always busy. I mean, I am "cooking," but come on, surely I could do better. And so I try to... Occassionally, like weekends, I suprise them with a text or call, just to keep the connection oiled. Life shouldn't be so hard, you know. We need one another somehow.
Well, I believe I can make out your persepective however you say it, mate. Perhaps in DM? If you'd prefer that.
To be a man is not easy. From the list of roles you stated it clearly shows that a man has more work to do. Responsibility is a must for he that wants to be a man.
Any man still waiting on parents or relatives for regular funds is still a boy in a man's suit. One good characteristics that proves to all that a boy is now a man is the ability to be financially buoyant and dependent.
Even at times when a guy might be broke, he looks for ways to get his needs without running back to his parents/relatives.
I'm glad you spotted my emphasis on "men" in the post. Boys and men are on opposite ends of a very long rope.
It's good to know when to seek help, though, but it's just much better for one to build for themselves. Thank you, Becky.
You are welcome Jay 👍
I have had these thoughts as well. And why I do not agree with certain notions when it comes to the views of both women and men. My wife saw a spark in my eye, despite my broke arse, and she stayed with me through it all. She's also older than I am but now, how the roles have reversed.
Women don't like being ignored. That is bullshit men with pea sized brains would say as an excuse for their character or lack of. You said everything and more...
I know she definitely saw something. You're an inspiration yourself, sir. Show's in how driven you are.
Someone finally said it. Lol.
Thank you, sir.
Welcome Jay😉
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Unfortunately am not a male but when it comes to rescue I have no one to call, it might sound wired but that's the fact, am certain that am not the only female that fell into same category, and when you have pressing need you know that life is not they way it seems like.
I have also seen men who has more rescues than female when they are hit with challenges.
That's interesting, but I actually believe it. Yes, there are men that find help more easily, and there are women that are solely independent.
Kind regards @olujay
You bring us to the dissertation by placing to the discursive palestra, the opportunity of many looks, which involves in its generalities the roles of men and women today, with what could be expected. We are in an effervescent postmodernity enriched by transcomplexity, which brings with it diversity in interculturality and with it the constant mutation of worldviews. By this I mean that society and with it its members undergo changes and transformations. The roles of men and women have been changing as well as the world. There are couples or marriages where the woman is the executive and the one who contributes the most to the household, the man does the housework, by agreement, by acceptance or because there is no choice, but it happens, just to cite an example. Dogmas and customs fade away in the dynamism of the new times.
Thanks for your reflections from the male point of view, interesting thoughts for collective input. Health and well-being !LUV
marilour
@olujay, @marilour(1/10) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily
Thank you for contributing
You are rigth. There exist diferentes in the way that males and females face their problems. I think too that it depend to diferent causes too: both Cultural and biological. But the really important Gor me is understand like You have show us that everyone have their own way to do the things.
Indeed, fren. Thank you for reading
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Its only those with wisdom that handles issues on their own because they know how hard their parents worked to bring them up.
Age too does not guarantee wisdom. Lovely share @olujay .
You are right in a way but I've seen cases where the opposite happened.
By the way, I think this should actually read;
And being hunters, some of them go all out to ensure the women walk right into their traps.