THE HARDEST THING

Sometimes, I wonder what really hurts the most: spending years building something meaningful and losing it or starting over again from scratch. Honestly, I’ll say they both hurt differently depending on the next step we take. Life always give us a reason to build and rebuild, but somehow we are not always ready for it and that breaks us more than anything and even make us doubt our essence. The struggle is real, you can’t get the best out of anything if you are not ready for some level of hardship which could be emotional, physical, mental, spiritual and psychological.

It’s been over 7 months since I last scribbled anything on hive and honestly, I’d have argued this was never going to happen if someone had told me about it back then. I know so many wondered why, interestingly, I wasn’t so surprised about the why. I had a lot of “whys?” but they were all for personal reasons and I don’t want to share that, at least not today. One thing I’m certain of, is that it was a good turn for me.

Right now, I’m at the point of rebuilding and trust me, it’s so hard but it feels right regardless of how hard it feels. I miss writing, reading personal stories and exploring the world through hive’s lens. I’m not sure how fast I’m going to bounce back to how things use to be but I’m sure I will even though I’m sure things can never be as they used to be, hopefully it will be way better. It’s not going to be easy but I know I’ll make progress and that’s all I need right now.

If you are like me, well, you just have to take one step and that often happens in your mind first before you act on it. It’s been over 2 months since I had the plans of starting again and just this evening, I had this adrenaline rush to write something and I decided to just write about how difficult it is to stop building and starting again. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has these struggles and I’m glad I’m taking this step now.

Moving forward, you can expect more writings from me but it won’t be as consistent for now. I’m still trying to figure out some things about my life and I’m happy I have a place like hive that always feels like home. There are so many things I know I have to start learning about hive again and I’m going to move at slow pace and not try to rush anything at all.

A shoutout to everyone who reached out during these past months of being away, I’m truly grateful. Hopefully, we will be seeing more of each other and more importantly, I’ll be rebuilding some lost friendships and building new ones. I mean, that’s one beautiful thing about hive, it has given me all the kinds of people I ever wanted. Maybe one day I should talk about those relationships? Well, let’s see how that goes, hehe.

Y’all have a lovely day or night? 🌹

Thank you for reading through! 💜