BEYOND THE FACADE

Most times we are tempted or just ignorant to call someone a friend when they do something good for us. I mean, that’s what a friend does right? So it is just understandable if you want to call that person a friend afterwards because they could actually really end up being a friend to you indeed. But then, beyond someone being kind to you, there are some other things that as a person, you need to look out for in someone you call a friend. But what are the things or at least one thing that makes you a good friend?

Before we delve into that, it is worth noting that your friend, just like you and every one is not a Demi god or something, they are humans like you and I, so every now and then, they will or might make mistakes and do things that you don’t really expect from them but then that doesn’t mean they are not your friend anymore. Although, there are definitely limits to how much mistakes you’d want to accept from a friend but then, you always have to keep in mind the reason why you are in that friendship in the first place.

Friendship sometimes is not a give and take relationship, personally for me, I would say it’s not at all. Most times, we get into only those friendships we know will be beneficial to us in every way and avoid being the one who will be the giver in a friendship. We avoid being the givers, so when we sense that being friends with someone won’t be much of a benefit to us, we most times withdraw from such a connection.

Now, the problem is not mingling with only those that are of value to you, no, the problem is, are you of value to someone? Whether we like it or nay, we can’t give all our friends the same energy, some will get more and others just the fragment but then, the kind of friendship you wish for from someone or people, is it the kind of friendship you give out? I mean, that’s the only way you’d truly appreciate the amazing things some people do for you because you know you’ve been there and it wasn’t really easy for you.

Friendship is only possible because there is another person or more. For that friendship to work, both parties have a role to play but mind you, the role doesn’t have to be 50:50. But sadly, this is how we always tend to think as humans. First thing we need to acknowledge is that, we are all different individuals and we have different things to can do better than the next person and vice versa.

If you go into a friendship and you only want the same energy you give from the other person, trust me you will be friendless at the end of the day. Not until you come to accept that sometimes it has to be 60/40 or even 30/70 for it to be balanced. What you as a person should be concerned of is your own role in that friendship. When you keep playing your part and things don’t go well, then at that point it is fine to review if it works or not.

One of the ways to know if you are a good friend is how often you see the wrong in a friend and don’t overlook at it but instead you correct them in love and make them better persons. This might not be what you’ve always believed but then, a true friend is not someone that accepts everything you do, instead a true friend is someone that is always watchful of your mistakes and help you make amends so you get better. If you call yourself a friend to someone and you always close your eyes to their wrongs and let them do whatever they want, trust me you don’t love such a person and you are not their friend.

And I guess that’s why a wise person once said, we should keep our friends close and our enemies even closer. The truth is, most times, our true friends might actually be our enemies, those people we think hates us the most because they are the only ones bold enough to tell us our wrongs and not keep a thing (although the difference is, they tell us the truth to bring us down).

A true friend is someone who is honest and compassionate. You shouldn’t see your friend in the wrong and still applaud him or her, that’s the greatest deceit. You being a friend to someone is for you to always be the first to spot what they’ve done right or wrong and also be the first to praise or correct them.

So the question goes to you now, are you truly a good friend? Or do you think you have a good friends? Do well to share your comments below.