No Script For Sorrow

I always believe I’m a strong person. Scratch that. For as long as I can remember, people who know me have been calling me a strong person. And if I’m being honest, I never know why. Maybe because they never see me cry or sad about things I’m supposed to be sad about? I don’t know. I really don’t know.

But this isn’t even why I’m here today. Although I’m not a huge fan of social media, the few times I find myself on some of these platforms, I always see someone crying on camera. People writing a whole essay about someone or something they’ve lost.

Tell you what. When I scroll through the comments, I see people saying all sorts of things. You claim you are sad, but you could set camera to cry? You are such an actress for coming here to behave like this You are mourning a loved one but have time to write essays?.

And then I just can’t keep my disappointment to myself. There were times I even felt like a bad person for thinking that if they feel these people are acting then the only way to find out is to be in their shoes. Yeah yeah. I know that’s not a good thing to even think of.

See, I don’t think there’s a formula for grief. I believe there’s no particular way one has to be when they are grieving. And certainly, grief doesn’t come with a script showing you how to behave and what to say to people. From my experience, grieving is one of the hardest things to do in life. I’ve lost quite a number of loved ones and each time was a different experience.

When I said in the beginning that people think I’m a strong person because they never see me in an emotional mess, that’s just me. The fact I am like that doesn’t mean everyone should be like that. If you hide your tears from the world, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with people who show their tears to the world.

This is similar to what people do to those who openly talk about their mental crisis. You’d mostly find people saying all sorts of unpleasant stuff to them.
I always say it costs nothing to be kind to people. If you can’t, just stay mute. Grief is a very sensitive matter so the next time you see someone grieving in a way you’re not familiar with(not harmful), just allow them.