Heard But Misunderstood

You know you’re very complicated? Is a question I often hear when I don’t agree with someone. You are just being a smart ass is what I often hear when someone thinks I’m just saying whatever they want to hear. You’re really something is what I hear when I’m not ready to agree with someone who doesn’t want to see things from my perspective after I have done the honor of understanding things from their perspective.

And most of the times, the one question I keep repeating is “did you hear me?” but now that I think of it, I believe it should be did you understand me? Because they hear me and can understand me but just choose not to.

Before I continue, let me tell you this: I do well with verbal presentations. I also never have a problem with the normal verbal communication, but the problem begins when there is a disagreement. On this blockchain, it’s way better because you get people who can relate with what you are saying and are even nice when they don’t, but in my personal life? Gosh! It’s so chaotic.

This past Sunday, I got into a really heated argument with an acquaintance, and it all stemmed from the fact that I wanted her to see things from my perspective. Normally I wouldn’t have said anything, but she said, and I quote, “Your point of view is very nonsensical.”

In that moment, I was so angry to the extent that all I could do was to stammer: the first sign that my anger could cause me to strangle her. I had to immediately resort to what I know how to do best: write. I wrote a whole page of emotions explaining exactly what my “nonsensical view” meant and how that attribute she gave to my view made me feel.

After reading it, she still went ahead to call me a “smart ass” because, to her, I only wanted to say what she wanted to hear just so she could also see things from my point of view. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. And the funny part is it’s always these acquaintances of mine. It’s always them.

I have just a triangle of friends, people who have been friends with me for 18 years, and they have never even once called me any of the names I mentioned in the beginning of this post. Not to mention my family and other loved ones.

This has taught me that those who really know and love you never need any extraordinary gestures or Einstein-level explanations to understand you. And for those who never want to understand you, no grand schemes of explanations will let them get you.

All this is to say that on a normal day, it’s just so easy for me to communicate with people for them to understand me. But when it comes to real arguments, the only way I let people get me is through my written words because I’ve come to realize that my verbal skills have a way of failing me during tense moments of communication.