Crazy Things are Happening at Nigerian Weddings.

Nigerian weddings

There are four categories of people that attend Nigerian weddings.

1. Family of the couple
2. Friends of the couple
3. Husband snatchers
4. Tag-alongs

The tag-alongs are those who attend the party solely for the purpose of receiving free food. They have no idea who the bride or groom are. They aren't friends with the family. They just know someone who knows someone who knows an aunt of the bride, and that's enough for them to be at a Nigerian party.

Fortunately, our weddings aren't strictly invitation-only affairs. Simply dress to impress, and you will be offered a VIP table 😀.

The husband snatchers are those who attend weddings with an eye out for the man who sprays the most mint naira notes. I'm not sure how they do it, but this is why the Master of Ceremony at Nigerian weddings will always tell women to watch their handbags and husbands because these items are very snatchable🤣🤣.

When it comes to Masters of Ceremony, they can be a little out of control at times. I was at a wedding last weekend, and of all the questions to ask a bride, it was, "How much is in your husband's bank account". How will she not know? She knows every last penny. Nigerian women do not joke with money. They know because nowadays, your bank account determines whether or not you get a yes when you propose.

Still at the wedding, the MC instructed the guests to "turn to the person sitting beside you and say I love you". Two men who were not my husbands sat beside me. My husband stood in front of me. He was staring at me, waiting to see which of the men I would turn to and say those words. I pretended to be deaf and dumb at the time. MC cannot be the reason why I'll be doing lots of explaining without evidence later that night.

Please stop asking the couples to kiss themselves if you are an MC or an aspiring MC on this platform. At Nigerian weddings, we see different kisses: those who want to chew off their partner's lips; those who clean off the bride's lipstick with their saliva in the name of kissing; and those who forget that they are at a wedding and the parents of the bride are watching. They become so engrossed that they develop a bulge. I mean, she's your wife. Do you want to finish the kiss? Take small for the time being and leave the rest.

See, Nigerians on this platform, let me use this opportunity to warn you to stop this thing at weddings. It is very common and annoying. I sit at the table closest to the food stand for a reason. Isn't it easier to start serving food from the table closest to the food? But no, they'd rather bring the food to the front tables, leaving your stomach rumbling at the aroma of the delicacies. Please stop it.

Nigerian weddings would be incomplete without food fights. There will always be that man or woman who either hides the food as it arrives or goes to the food stand to fight them for not serving their table. That is always the highlight of Nigerian weddings. You'd think rice isn't something they eat every day at home. Anyway, there is something special about wedding Jollof rice🤣🤣. This is why I always bring my special cooler with me.

Until I write here again, keep cracking those ribs.