[ENG/PT-BR] When talking doesn't solve...


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As pessimistic as the title of this post is, I believe that talking about reality is like a double-edged sword, no one has a perfect life and obviously there is a good and bad side to living. I believe you may have already read some of my posts saying how we should be persevering and patient when it comes to living in a community or living with our family and friends, at all times we are subject to disagreements that can cause a major rift in the relationship.

So, when this happens, I always say to stay calm and try to call the other side to talk and try to align the points that are bothering you, unfortunately, this doesn't always really resolve things. No matter how much we try to resolve and clear up the problems that have arisen, the other person doesn't want to cooperate, they want to keep to themselves or simply ignore you. It's okay, it's her right to want to stay like this and if she really wants to resolve things, she might come and talk to you later.

But the negative side of all this, which is when people or the group itself is unable to dialogue, is that there is that bad feeling and you feel a kind of heartache. This feeling is normal and just shows that you care about this relationship, whether it's a friendship or a romantic one. Even so, there is still a danger that the other person will take advantage of this and even snub your attempts to resolve things. When this happens, as happened to me this week, believe me, the best thing is to leave it aside and wait for time to pass.

Maybe the person is really angry or disappointed in you, or maybe they're just taking advantage of your kindness to make themselves difficult, while inside they're crazy about wanting to talk to you. If it is to be like this, the tip I can give is that you don't need to play the hero, humiliate yourself or grovel to have that person's forgiveness, as mistakes happen naturally, but when we have the great desire to at least try to correct them and the other person simply laughs in our face, my friend, just walk away and let silence reign.

Seeking to resolve a mistake is a very noble attitude for those who make it, but being humiliated for trying to correct a disagreement, I don't think anyone deserves that. So just do that: do nothing! Leave this other person, if they really want to continue counting on you, they will lower their ego and try to talk to you, sooner or later, until then, if it's going to be a joke, let them play alone. I hope I helped you with this text.

Thank you very much to everyone who donated a little of their time to read. Until next time guys!

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Fonte

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Por mais pessimista que seja o título dessa postagem, acredito que falar sobre a realidade é como uma faca de dois gumes, ninguém tem a vida perfeita e obviamente existe o lado bom e ruim de se viver. Acredito que você já deve ter lido alguma das minhas postagens dizendo sobre como devemos ser perseverantes e pacientes quando o assunto é viver em comunidade ou viver com a sua família e amigos, a todo momento estamos sujeitos a desentendimentos que podem causar uma grande rachadura no relacionamento.

Então, quando isso acontece, costumo sempre dizer para termos calma e tentar chamar o outro lado para conversar e tentar alinhar os pontos que estão incomodando, infelizmente, nem sempre isso realmente resolve as coisas. Por mais que tentamos resolver e passar a limpo os problemas que surgiram a outra pessoa não quer colaborar, ela quer ficar na dela ou simplesmente te ignorar. Tudo bem, direito dela querer ficar assim e se ela quiser realmente resolver as coisas, pode ser que depois ela venha conversar com você.

Só que o lado negativo disso tudo, que é quando as pessoas ou o grupo em si não consegue dialogar, é que fica aquela sensação ruim e você sente uma espécie de aperto no coração. Esse sentimento é normal e apenas mostra que você se importa com esse relacionamento, seja ele uma amizade ou amoroso. Mesmo assim, ainda existe o perigo da outra pessoa se aproveitar disso e ainda esnobar suas tentativas de resolver as coisas, quando isso acontece, como aconteceu comigo essa semana, acredite, o melhor é deixar de lado e esperar o tempo passar.

Talvez a pessoa esteja com muita raiva ou decepcionada com você, ou talvez ela só esteja se aproveitando de sua bondade para se fazer difícil, enquanto por dentro ela está maluca querendo conversar com você. Se é para ser assim, a dica que posso dar é que você não precisa bancar o herói, se humilhar ou rastejar para ter o perdão dessa pessoa, pois os erros acontecem naturalmente, mas, quando temos a grande vontade de tentar pelo menos corrigir eles e a outra pessoa simplesmente ri da nossa cara, meu amigo, apenas saia de perto e deixe o silêncio reinar.

Buscar a resolução de um erro é uma atitude muito nobre daquele que o faz, mas ser humilhado por tentar corrigir um desentendimento, isso acho que ninguém merece. Então faça apenas isso: faça nada! Deixe essa outra pessoa, que se ela quiser realmente continuar ter contado com você, ela ira abaixar o ego e tentara falar com você, cedo ou tarde, até lá, se for para ficar de brincadeira, deixe ela brincando sozinha. Espero ter ajudado você com este texto.

Muito obrigado a todos que doaram um pouco do seu tempo para ler. Até a próxima pessoal!

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Well, you explained everything well when there is no dialogue or dialogue is used only to humiliate and offend the person there is nothing left to save... After years and years of fighting to find common ground I understood that it is best for my health, my psyche is to withdraw, and to stop trying to save the person who has no desire to save himself

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I understood that it is best for my health, my psyche is to withdraw, and to stop trying to save the person who has no desire to save himself

You said it all, the moment you take away our peace and start doing harm, body and soul, the best thing to do is get away from us, let it go, because it's not worth trying to save something that doesn't want to be saved.

Thanks for the comment!

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Making mistakes and misunderstanding is very common in life. Sometimes we became very angry and emotional. And in such kind of time trying to correct thing mostly don't work and almost opposite thing happen what we predict. It's better to keep quiet for some time. Sometimes silence can fix the matter very well.

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Hello, good evening my friend, I agree with you, sometimes acting immediately doesn't solve the problem and the best thing is to wait, the anger passes, the heart calms down and then we can talk more calmly and try to express the points that caused the disagreement. Thanks for commenting, see you next time!

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It's not always easy to use dialogue to solve problems. I, though believe that it's the most sincere way of communicating and figuring a way collectively. The most important skill for that is listening or like deep listening skill. I've learned throughout my career that in order to have a great and meaningful dialogue is to be able to listen and exchange information without holding judgement. But that does take a lot of practice and understanding environment too.

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I completely agree with you, listening to people when they want to talk and express themselves is the best thing we can do, despite it being complicated, we usually just want to talk and talk and listen which is nothing good. Relationships are always complex and therefore, we must be very calm and patient to try to resolve differences between ourselves and others.

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