The entitlement mentality
I have a big uncle who is a practicing medical doctor. I lived with him and other of his siblings in my grandmother's house right from my primary school level until I got married. During my university days, I remember asking him for tuition fees several times, but his answer would always be, "I don't have, I am paying for this and that, I need to do this and that", etc. It was always annoying to receive no as an answer, especially when I see the way he spends money. At a point, I lost appetite for asking him for money, and we were cool chit-chatting whenever we were all home.
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One Day, I went to see my elder brother; he hadn't gotten a good job then and was still struggling to make ends meet. I complained to him bitterly about how my uncle isn't giving me money for my academic needs and how I feel so bad, even hating him for such a bad attitude. My brother opened my eyes to the feeling of entitlement I was battling with. He told me that my uncle is just an uncle and not my father. He said it's not his responsibility to take care of my academic needs, and I have no right to be Angry with him for my own good. He added that my uncle can only assist me financially at his will, and I shouldn't force him to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings. He went further to tell me that it's the basic responsibility of my parents to cater to my needs, and where they fail to do so, I can only hope for an assistant from other relatives, and I shouldn't feel any kind of entitlement from anyone. After that enlightenment, my mentality received a shift, and I stopped getting angry with my uncle. It was a big lesson I learned that day, which has assisted me till date and which I will ensure to teach my children as well.
Today, I received a call from a distant relative, and she was expressing her anger at how her uncle has been declining all her financial requests. She was calling the uncle all manner of evil names and cursing him at the same time. So because I had such a mentality before, I gave her the same sermon my big brother gave me years ago. After my discussion with her, her eyes were open and she was calm. She expressed her regrets for the bad thoughts and words she had already used against her uncle, but my happiness is that she got the message I passed to her.
That will be all for today! See you in my next post.
Thanks for reading through!!!.
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Thanks a bunch for the update buzzy 😍👍
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I enjoyed the post my friend @tipu curate 2
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Thanks so much my friend, I really appreciate the curation 👍🙂
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I have seen some people having that kind of mentality. They feel angry when someone refuse to help them in financial case. They are incapable but they get angry on others who refused to help give me a ridiculous feeling. Nothing more 😅.
You reminded me some of my relatives 🤣.
Hahaha 😂😂
Some people are like that and it's high time many deal with that mentality. I am happy to discover it on time and dealt with it ..lol
I see the entitlement mentality at work in Canada all the time. It is so common that it annoys me! During a recent flood many of my wife's patients weren't able to come in for their dialysis treatments because of a washed out road. The government hired a helicopter to fly them from their home to an area that wasn't affected by flooding. The government paid for them to stay in a very nice hotel and paid for their meals while they were there. The government also paid their transportation fee to and from the treatment clinic the three days a week they needed to come.
....and many of them complained that:
Makes me very frustrated.
Parents have a duty to their children. A husband has a duty to his wife. After that it is every man for himself. No-one is due anything from another person but so many people entitled because....well, they feel entitled and special.
Just my thoughts....
....and thanks for your post. Glad to see another person who learned the entitlement lesson 🙂
What an example you explained here. That is it.. people feel they deserve a particular favour from someone just for no tangible reason as if it's the person's responsibility.
Ever since the day I learnt my lesson, I don't feel entitled to anyone anymore
Thanks for your detailed comments here
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As I read along I was wondering why you felt entitled. It is good that your brother spoke with you and got you to think otherwise. After reading that you distant relative felt the saem I have to wonder - it is a cultural thing?
Lol I have lived with my uncle and my grandmother since I was 7 years old. My grandmother did not have money to train me at the university, so whatever I needed, I would Trek to go visit my mom. My uncle didn't have a job either during my secondary school level, but during my university level, he was already doing a good job and wouldn't seize to commend my effort on how I take good care of grandma (his direct mom). So I felt that since he is already making money, he should assist my academics instead of me traveling to visit my mom for my needs, whereas I live with them.
This was my mentality until my brother gave me that sermon.
However, it's not a cultural thing; it's just the mentality of many around here. That's my old self anyway; I do not feel entitled to anyone anymore.
😀 I understand that that was the old you. Thanks for explaining
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Beatifully explained!!!
Thank you
You know... I also feel a little put down, but not much, when I write excellent posts as ambassador project but although I get points, never got crypto rewards, only best authors get it. But I shrug it off... anyway.
Many times for awesome posts I write, I get nothing, when I feel it's value is a lot, because the posts are as good as professional writters.
Very rarely I feel frustrated, else I feel that I am useless, my writing and crypto will take me no where...anyway. But again, my passion keeps me here, and I get some encouragement here and there but I really need to get it work for me to earn well for myself.
Life sucks...anyway. Goodday
Well, I perfectly understand you. As humans it's very easy to feel entitled just like the example you gave but then the realisation that it shouldn't be so will go a long way in saving the day
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Yeah. It's important to learn to rely on oneself instead of others.
I used to be like that "You've got more money than me, lend me some so I can do what I want!" But then I had to work twice as hard to pay it back before I was allowed to borrow any more. Now, despite not working all the time, I have got money in the bank so I can borrow from myself when I need it, and when that account runs low I'll get another job and to fill it up again. Crap job, sure, but it'll be for a year at most. While always living frugally and not buying anything I don't really need.
My plan is to never be poor, always be able to pay my rent, eat good food and buy enough books to always have something to read. And maybe leave a couple of hundred dollars for my family when I die. Enough to pay for my own funeral, at least!
Wow... what a deeper insight into this topic. You have made valuable points with life lessons
Thanks for your contribution to my post
Thank you! I'm no good at coming up with topics for my own posts, but I like making comments ;)