Welcome back to my blog! Today, I will love to share something personal that transpired between my friend and me and my stand on the situation.
I have been an advocate for making friends, connecting with people, and offering assistance to one another. There's one popular statement I usually make every time, which is that we need each other to survive, and that's absolutely true. Great friends always come through for each other, and I am blessed to have friends who have had a great impact on my life and likewise on myself. However, I do not hesitate to set standards. There are some things I can do for friends, but there are also boundaries I observe, especially when it's sensitive.
This week has been a rollercoaster for me. Most of my offline activities have been helping friends and family members, and I find joy and fulfillment in helping out when I can. The thank you and prayers I receive after each act of kindness are quite satisfactory and far more than what money can buy.
Last month, I mentioned in one of my posts about a close friend of mine who had a fire accident and has been in the hospital since January. I have been keeping in contact with her both physically and through constant communication, and fortunately, she has been recovering so well. On the other hand, the husband is the type that doesn't eat outside; he sticks with homemade food, and so his family in another state has been sending enough food to him after freezing it so it can last longer before he will need another one. It looks like the family wasn't able to meet up this time, and the man ran out of cooked food and yet doesn't want to eat in a restaurant. In view of this, my friend still in the hospital reached out to me and pleaded that I visit the market, buy food stuff, take it to her home, and cook varieties of food for her husband and have them preserved in the freezer. Hmmm, why can't I prepare this food in my house and take it to your husband? I asked. Must I stay in your house with your husband for hours cooking for him? Remember, I am married, and I feel this is not sitting so well with me. I feel that I am crossing my boundaries to the set standards for my way of life.
I couldn't accept this request, even though I understood my friend's situation. I can't imagine going to her home, where the husband lives alone. A lot of thoughts ran through my mind, and I felt so uncomfortable with the request. I do not go anywhere without telling my husband, and so I found this request so difficult to accept, and that's why I declined. Now, my friend is seeing me as someone without empathy. I feel bad that I couldn't help her this time. However, I made her know that when she is discharged from the hospital and returns home and then needs my assistance on anything in her home, I wouldn't hesitate to help out, but going to cook for her husband in her house with the man in there is not something I can do.
Do you think I should have accepted her request considering her health situation, or do you think otherwise?
Your feedback will be well appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
All images were taken from Canva.
I feel sad about her husband but it was not your fault at all. Setting boundaries because you are married is good for yourself and your husband too. I just hope that her husband would learn to cook for himself or to eat outside for him to survive. And to your dear friend, I hope she knows that it was not a good request to cook for food for someones husband or to stay in their home cooking for her husbad. Hopefully, you and your friend will still be good friends.
Thanks for this feedback..I have been feeling bad thinking that I did something wrong to a friend in need
I hope she rethinks and discover that I am trying to protect my marriage too... can't even tell my husband this kind of request
I hope we still remain friends
You're a good person, hopefully she will understand your side. 😊
oh woah! This is impossible sis. Why in the first place should she suggest you cook the food in her house? I can't comprehend this fully right now.
All you need do is go to the market to buy the necessary ingredients for the recipes, cook them comfortably in your house, packaged them, and send them to her husband.
Something is fishing here and just too wrong, You should check this relationship very well.... because am still thinking what it could be.
Thanks for sharing this food for thought?
My dear...if she trust me enough to cook for her husband in her house, then she should trust me to cook it in my house which is more preferable
All the same, I am glad I took the decision of not accepting her request
The best sis. We should always think twice when it comes to issues like this. Humans as we are sometimes act out.
Have a blessed week ahead and love ❤️
Congratulations @nkemakonam89! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)
Your next target is to reach 34500 replies.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOP
Check out our last posts:
Thanks buzzy
You're making a big impact @nkemakonam89! Keep up the fantastic work and you'll reach your Hive target in no time.
This post has been manually curated by @bhattg from Indiaunited community. Join us on our Discord Server.
Do you know that you can earn a passive income by delegating to @indiaunited. We share more than 100 % of the curation rewards with the delegators in the form of IUC tokens. HP delegators and IUC token holders also get upto 20% additional vote weight.
Here are some handy links for delegations: 100HP, 250HP, 500HP, 1000HP.
100% of the rewards from this comment goes to the curator for their manual curation efforts. Please encourage the curator @bhattg by upvoting this comment and support the community by voting the posts made by @indiaunited.
Many thanks @bhattg
👏 Keep Up the good work on Hive ♦️ 👏
❤️ @bhattg suggested sagarkothari88 to upvote your post ❤️
Much appreciated 💚
@nkemakonam89, you are most welcome!
Here is !PIZZA token gift for you
I don't think you're obligated to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You offered an alternative and that's very kind of you. On the other hand, is her husband missing both arms? If not, why can't he make his own food?
You have nothing to feel bad about.
Lol..no arms missing
He just wants to be served!
Now I feel more relieved that after all I took the right decision
Thanks so much for your feedback
I don't think you did anything wrong, you cannot put yourself in a tight situation just to please her, this is the problem with people, because of a No, they forget all the good we've done for them.
I hope she understands why you couldn't help out this time, please don't feel bad, it's better safe than sorry.
My dear oo...I thought of the possible implications of this request if I give in and felt uncomfortable with it
I feel bad that I can't help a sick friend but I won't risk my marriage too because of her..my husband wouldn't find it funny knowing that I went to her home to cook food for the husband
Yeah, you can't risk your marriage because of a friend, there are other ways to show her love and I'm sure you won't hesitate on that.
Why her husband can't eat food from restaurant. Her husband should know about the situation and I think you can't give so many times there as you have your own family to handle. What was the problem cooking in your home and send it to her husband? She didn't accept it and what does it mean? It indicates that she didn't trust you and had doubts that you might steal her foodstuffs.I can't see any other logic behind the refusal of your idea.
Besides who knows if her husband have some ill thoughts which made you uncomfortable as you mentioned here?
So you did right. I wouldn't hesitate to break friendship in such kind of situation. Maybe I would be rude but I wouldn't guilty for it anytime.
!PIZZA
My dear, the whole drama is just too big for me to process. I don't know what to think anymore
But as much as I value my friendship with her, I also hold my marriage in high esteem and wouldn't want to do anything to ruin my relationship
I will watch things unfold and it's fine if my decision ends our friendship
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@intishar(1/5) tipped @nkemakonam89
Basically, cooking the food at home and delivering it, is the best. Marriage means a lot of boundaries and there's nothing wrong if you cook at home and send it
Exactly my brother...I gave her the option but she prefers that I do the cooking in her home
Really uncomfortable for me
Why? I think you've tried your best
@tipu curate
Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 35/45) Liquid rewards.
Awwww, much appreciated Joe!
You weren't wrong saying no to your friend on this particular request. If only she accepted that you cook them in your house and bring it over to her house, it would have been a different case.
I will also do the same thing if I was in your shoes ma, I am sure your will soon come to understand why you rejected the her request.
My dear o...she is not happy with me but thinking through the request, it feels uncomfortable abeg
Glad you can relate ♥️
Omo, that lady we spoke about. Nawa ooo. You de try ooo. I hail you being frieds with such person for long. If it were me, I would just cut communications with her. Just me sha, I dont have time for nonsense. If her husband is a king, let him do that in his home. It even shows the kind of marriage she's in and how the husband was even trained that his people were sending him food.
Me that don't like people much. I'll just tell her to day her day. Even buying to cook at your place sef is what I can't do. I love cooking, but, no! Not in that situation. I can cook and take to her ooo. That's just it sha.
Na aproko screening carry me come oo🤣🤣. Me sef I want chop oo. Come cook for my house na, eh, fine girl?
I no say na screening Carry u come here by this time of the day...but wait first...I will reply this your trouble in the morning as sleep full my eyes now
Wait for it.. trouble finder🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣 see you. So your morning never reach abi ehn, fine girl?
As far as anything really gives me inconvenience am not sure that I can really do it
#dreemerforlife#
Sure sis
When I was reading, I was so eager to read to the point where you accepted or not.😅.
Me, I wanted to read Nollywood script before but you disappointed me😂😂😂
She didn't try at all. You initiated the option of cooking the food in your house and she refused, Omo!
The husband self, he suppose to know how to cook food too na.
God! My wife go enjoy🫣
Smiles...
Your wife go enjoy abi ... lolz
My dear oo, I received a request that got me thinking wild
I jumped and passed them oo 😂🤣
Lol😂
It's good you boldly rejected.
Let her think, think and rethink on the value
of what she requested
Hmmmm well it wasn't wrong though for you having different thoughts in your heard i mean we are all humans and anything and everything can happen if we allow it, but the things here is i think you should have persuaded her more to cook the foods in your house and take it to her husband.
Hehehe, she is an adult oo...she knows what she wants
I can't force her against her will and I can't do against my own will
Lol
Hmmmm ohk well sometimes its always best to bring out suggestions even though the person resent to it, two heads are better than one u know, maybe shes only thinking one way but with your suggestion she'll think it another way