Technophobe

Mr. James Francis was a simple widower who raised his two kids alone and who loved farming and owns several plantations. Some called him a millionaire, but he never saw himself in that light. He was just a simple man who loved nature and couldn't be bothered with phones, TV, laptops, or even the Internet. The only technology he kept up to date with was that of his farm machinery.

His PA Fred kept the records, replied his mails, answered his calls and did everything related to computer work because James had refused to learn even how to operate his phone or laptop. James had recently bought the latest iPhone for his 15-year-old twins JJ and Jada, and honestly, he was beginning to regret it. His son JJ was always on the damn thing talking to a woman.

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He knew this because every time he passed by JJ’s door, he would always hear him saying something like “call Blake or state Newton’s law” and he would hear her responding. What James wanted to know was who the hell she was and why she was always talking to his son.

“What I don't understand is why they're always tapping on the thing or talking to the thing. I thought it was only for calls” James complained to his assistant Fred.

“This is the 21st century James, phone versions improve every day, and we now have the internet” Fred replied, laughing.

“I'm not even going to ask you what an internet is” James said, scratching his beard, “I am worried about this lady JJ has been talking to”

“Why not just ask him about it, you guys are close, and he tells you everything, just talk to him about this. It could be his friend” Fred replied, shrugging.

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James had been thinking about Fred's advice and had decided to ask his son during the weekend. The twins loved helping him out on the farm on Sundays, so he would just stylishly bring up the issue and that would solve the problem. He still heard his son talking sometimes, and he had drawn a conclusion that this lady practically did everything on that phone for his son.

James was beginning to suspect this mystery lady was one of his teachers, but he wasn't so sure. Sunday morning dawned bright and early, and he set off to the farm with his son, while Jada promised to join them later. They arrived and began the daily rounds when he brought up the issue.

“So son, how's school” James asked, chewing on a blade of grass

“School is OK dad, the football team won the state championship, I aced all my tests this week, and I am heading the science fair on Thursday” JJ replied

“You kids keep on making me proud. My boy is smart, a great athlete and so handsome while my daughter is beauty and brains come to life” James replied proudly.

They shared other things when he suddenly asked,
“JJ, any girl in the picture? Anyone you want to tell your old man about?” he asked, smiling.

James was surprised when his son burst into raucous laughter, that was not the reaction he'd expected.

JJ cleared his throat when he saw his dad staring daggers at him
“Sorry sir, it's just… Dad, I'm 15, the love arrow hasn't caught me yet. I'm far too busy now. And no, I'm not into boys before you ask” JJ replied, stifling another laugh.

“I see” James said, “you know you can confide in me right, even if she's older, I wouldn't…”

He was cut short by yet more laughter from his son, who seemed to find the statement funny, tears were rolling down his eyes and he was clapping his hands

“Good morning Dad” Jada said as she joined them with Fred, “Hi womb sharer” she addressed her brother.

“Morning angel” James grumbled, nodding at Fred.

“JJ what's so funny, stop laughing and tell me about it this minute” Jada demanded

“Dad asked if I had a girlfriend, and I think he thinks she might be older than me” JJ replied, wiping his eyes.

“Eww, why would you want to date someone older? I mean…” Jada asked, laughing.

“I don't understand why you guys find it funny, I just want to know what's going on” James replied, starting to get annoyed

“Look JJ, are you being completely honest with me” He asked his son

“Yes, dad, I am, why are you so bothered about this issue?” JJ replied honestly.

Clearing his throat, Fred spoke up “okay JJ, the thing is your dad has heard you talking on the phone to some mystery woman, and he’s worried”

JJ looked confused while Jada looked surprised.

“You have to tell us if it's true, JJ, have you been catfished?” Jada asked.

“No! I honestly don't know what woman dad is talking about” JJ said exasperated.

“Okay let me explain, sometimes when I pass by your brother's room I always hear a lady's voice, and then he responds” James explained “I don't eavesdrop or anything. You know your brother loves his sound system and his phone is always connected to that thing”.

By this time, JJ was seriously cracking his brain. He didn't like any girl at school, and his sister was practically the only female that called him.

“I think her name is Sarah or so” James said helpfully

“Sarah, Sarah, ohhh” JJ said as realization dawned. “Dad, do you mean SIRI?”

“Ha! I knew it. Is that her name?” James asked excitedly.

“SIRI! As in the iPhone Siri” Jada asked, looking at her dad in disbelief.

Fred burst out laughing and said, “This is not happening!”

“Dad, Siri is not a lady, Siri is an inbuilt voice - controlled personal assistant” JJ replied

“You know the way I assist you, that how she assists your son with things on his phone” Fred explained

“Dad I use it sometimes too, it's not a big deal” Jada said.

“So, what you all are saying is that there's a PA in that phone?”

“Yes Dad, it helps with my assignments and reminders for school” JJ said

“It sends text messages and makes calls and reads things out to you” Jada said

“It makes things easier for you” Fred said you would have known all these if you'd agreed to let me teach you how to operate your phone”

“So it's not a real life lady?” James asked again.

“NO!” JJ, Fred, and Jada replied together

“I feel so stupid, and I am sorry, son” James said, laughing in relief.

They all talked more about the issue and tried to convince James to learn how to use his laptop and mobile devices. But he adamantly refused, saying, “That's what I pay Fred for!”

“You're lucky I am a nice person, your assets are safe with me” Fred said

“It's not as if you can move my money using a phone” James said laughing

When he realized no one was laughing with him, he asked, “Wait, he can't do that, can he?”

“Welcome to the power of the internet Sir” Fred said, giving him a handshake while the kids laughed and teased their father.