REJECTED

It's not easy to smile when you like someone, you want to know them but they just shun you off. Some even take advantage of you before rejecting you, and I think that's what hurts the most. We guys can be persuasive and persistent, especially when we see a lady we really like and we just want to get to know them. Just like every other guy, I can be very persuasive if I like you and want to know you, not because I have any bad intentions, but before I believe if you could just see me for who I am, then you can decide if you want me in your life or not. Most often those who finally give me a chance get to like me afterward… (it's not my fault, you can't just know me and not like me 😂)

The “Like” here isn't really sexual or emotional per se, it's more conceptual. I see needs in people's lives and try to solve them, so tell me who wouldn't want a need in their lives solved? I can be a very great friend if given the chance to be, but then you wouldn't know if you saw me like every other random guy. This is why I see a first rejection as a challenge to prove myself, hoping that after proving myself I would get a positive response. But If after I prove myself I get a negative response, I would like to understand why the person did not find me “friend worthy" to them. I try to understand this because It could be from a point of bad past experiences and they are just scared of being used. If this is true I would see the rejection as another challenge of proving I'm not like others.

But if the initial rejection isn't from a place of bad experiences, I would prefer utmost sincerity to why I am being rejected and if it's not something I can do anything about, I walk away. Moving forward to proving myself after the second rejection, if they still feel they are better off without me, I walk away and appreciate their sincerity. What I despise though is being used and made to think I'm being accepted for who I am. I've been in this position and I wouldn't even say I've recovered fully from it, but I'm okay now but sometimes I wonder why people do not grow the balls to tell someone their true view about them.

I once liked a girl whom I expressed my intentions towards. We started out as friends and when I told her how I felt about her (which I knew would change everything). I never expected an answer from her, because she was so pretty that almost every guy was chasing her. I just wanted to prove that my intentions were sincere and I guess she saw my intentions and liked me for it (I mean who wouldn't, I'm a likable person 😂). She told me afterward that she loved me but wasn't ready for a relationship. It was enough for me that she loved me, so all I needed to do was keep pushing until she was ready.

Some months after I started getting negative vibes from her, me being I wouldn't ignore them, so I kept pushing for her to know what was wrong, maybe I did something that made her finally lose interest. But then she assured me I was only getting myself worked up. Each time I tried to understand her loss of interest, she made me feel I was raising a false alarm. So I made a plan to discover the truth. Everyone around me too thought I was overreacting until I decided to shun all doubts. I introduced her to my sister who befriended her enough to have deep conversations about me. It wasn't hard to see how she felt about me when she talked to my sister. And it was then I realized I was playing big time. She never loved me, but only loved how I loved her.

It was a hard pill to swallow having invested time and money into waiting for her to be ready. I felt like a fool for believing her, knowing that she rejected me all along but just wanted to keep me around because she didn't have the balls to tell me to my face made it so painful. I haven't talked to her since that incident, and I'm not sure I would ever. But then again, the healing process from the discovery wasn't easy. I had to take it one step at a time, from healing my heart to mending my broken ego. I saw her deceit as disrespectful to me as a man. From there I went on to accept that nothing could have ever happened between us. I think this was the hardest pill to swallow, but after I swallowed it, I became okay.

ALL PICTURES ARE MINE