Ride or Die?

I like to think that I’m someone with a good sense of judgement. But I’ve made some really questionable decisions somewhere last year and have begun to doubt what I considered a good discernment. That being said, I try to make the best decision anytime I can.

However for this weekend’s engagement prompts, Hive Ghana really took testing your judgement and character to another level. What do I do if a loved one confides in me a secret that could hurt someone else?

As sleek at Hive Ghana wanted to get with this question, there’s a small loop. Perhaps, if the question was more of a “Do you tell the other person or keep the secret” that limits my option. But since it’s not, I’m going to invent option 3.

What is option 3?

Well, option 3 is talk them out out of going through with whatever activity the secret they confide in me will involve that will hurt someone else.

Say Yahuzah cheated on his girlfriend and I somehow am privy to this information, but his girlfriend is not, do I contact girlfriend and sing? Of course not. Does this make me a somewhat bad person? Maybe. But what sort of friend would do that. Instead, I most likely will advice Yahuza to be faithful and if possible, come clean to girlfriend about his infidelity.

A few weeks ago I overhead a group of people arguing about what they’d do in the case that they somehow found out their friend’s girl (who he was planning to marry) was cheating on them. A number of people said they’d tell their friend on the grounds that they were just trying to lookout for him. A few others were of the opinion that they’d leave him in the dark and let him enjoy what he thinks he has.

Then there was an even smaller minority that suggested that even though they won’t be the ones to break the news to their friend, they’d present the lady in question the choice to come clean on her own because by all means, they weren’t going to leave their friend in the dark or allow him take such a huge step without knowing everything. This is exactly what I’d do in that case.

Love is a delicate subject and for your own good and sanity, you want to try as much as you can to stay out of the business of two people who are in love. My people even make jokes about how you'll be mocked for trying to counsel two lovebirds who were in a temporary odd against each other. The minute they reconcile (and they will) you'll be seen as the hypocrite that tried to tear them apart.

Even though you have good intentions, some friends or people in general will misunderstand the motive behind your trying to tell them the truth. You might be misunderstood as the friend that just doesn’t want them to be together. Or even worse, your friend might see the truth and appreciate you telling them alright, but just wish that you didn’t tell them. There are just somethings that are better left unknown and you can’t go back after finding them out.

Anyways, I think I’m sidetracking a bit, so back to the topic!

What if option 3 wasn’t an option?

There used to be this term we used a lot in Senior High School - PIC (partner in crime). The idea was that whoever was your PIC, you could do anything with (or tell anything to) and they’ll take it to the grave. I never really bought into that idea because the idea of shutting up about everything someone does, even things that are detrimental to others, in the name of “love” or "loyalty" just sounded messed up to me.

So here’s what I say if talking to my loved one to cease their evil or malicious intent does not work, or is not an option - I’m pulling the fucking plug. Yeah call me a 🐀 or whatever. I’ll oust you in a heartbeat!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for ride and die, but when another person’s physical safety is concerned is where I draw the line. So if this secret doesn’t physically hurt someone, I’ll keep my mouth shut. Like in the case of my good friend Yahuza cheating on his girl, I keep my mouth shut because it won’t physically hurt the nice miss. It doesn’t make it the best thing to do, but that’s probably what I’d do.

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