hello @perfect20 your story had a decent hook. It drew me in but then it raced through the investigation to a close with no foreshadowing. In a whodunnit the reader wants to feel a part of the story, solving the mystery alongside the main character. In this story you exclude the reader and don't provide any clues. The reader wants the story to build suspense, and to introduce conflict and setbacks. They want to see relevant pieces of information being dropped along the way, so that when you reveal the kidnapper at the end, the reader doesn't feel cheated. When the identity of the kidnapper is revealed, the reader should be able to look back over the story and the clues and see that everything ties together and makes sense. When you reveal that Daniel Blake is the kidnapper, the reader is only hearing of him for the first time. You then fill in the backstory in your closing paragraph. For the reader to feel satisfied with the conclusion, they need to have been introduced to Daniel earlier in the story and to have slowly uncovered this information alongside your main character. I hope this makes sense. Your piece would also benefit from an edit to identify issues with spelling.