The Freedom Paradox: How Real Love Gives You Both Independence and Belonging

I have tasted the freedom that comes with being single. I have also experienced the genuine smile that only love offers. However, I recommend peace—whichever gives this is worth keeping. Singleness is not entirely comfortable. There are days one wishes they have a companion, nights when loneliness creeps in uninvited, times when one's laughter fades and there's this longing to be loved. Yes, one is not apt to make endless calls or stay late nights explaining how their day went. However, the beauty still lies in those uncomfortable periods when you're checked for every step one takes. It's the bittersweet part of love.

My first relationship was heaven on earth. For the first time in a long time, I wanted to finish the day's work and go back to this safe place. I had someone to talk to about everything and anything without fear, and I had a reason to smile each day. This continued for a while until doubts set in and every one of my words was misconstrued. Soon the dark part of being in a relationship surfaced, and I hated love. A part of me wanted to be single again, but the other part held strong to the memories we shared. Until it was obvious that I'd lost the girl I used to know. All that was there was a shadow of herself.

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I was hurt, broken, and lost, but again I didn't give up on love—not because I was not pained, but because singleness didn't feel comfortable again. That's why people keep going into relationships despite broken feelings. Some never enter relationships again because they fear feeling safe and then suddenly deprived of that beauty, not because being single directly means being happy. Everyone needs a friend and someone to call their own—loneliness is never a safe place.

I am currently in a relationship, and this one feels like peace. I am not pressured to explain my day or certain decisions I take. I don't talk for uncomfortable hours or see jealousy lurking around me. What I see is the feeling of freedom and comfort (single) yet entangled with someone who still gives me that genuine smile. With her, I choose relationship over singleness because she gives me the two feelings that both offer. I can't speak entirely for everyone, but one thing I know: when love is involved, we find freedom, comfort, peace, and laughter in one place.