A senseless rant on sexual desires

While scrolling through my notepad looking for points I might have scribbled in there without necessarily acting on them, my eyes fell upon this statement;

Source

Life can take you in directions you can't control. You may be in a dark place right now but the light will come. You just need to find it. Dynasty

It turns out today happens to be the day, I needed to read this again. Once I did, I smiled.

I remember stepping out this evening to get a beer, fries, and chicken because I felt as though I was going to lose my mind if I stayed indoors one more minute. This decision turned out to be a fun one and I made a new friend.

These days, having someone to talk to always feels like I am winning the lottery since I spend my entire life locked up in my room, with my phone, scrolling down the various communities in Hive, and starting a conversation here and there.

Throwing out my anxiety in the door of making a new friend was the best part of today. All I needed to do was to smile up at her and she responded with a beautiful energy of her own. Before I knew it, we were getting personal and she was asking personal questions. Jeez.. I just realized I said a lot about myself without asking her about herself... Hah! How terrible of me!

Let's not digress though, finding the quoted phrase above made me feel special because I remembered Sam said this to Fallon when she felt at her worst. Today, I did not think I could see the sun nor even have a smile spread across my face.

I was already getting close to being depressed over being sex-starved. Oops! Sorry, about being raw. I am trying, to get everything off my chest this evening. My apologies! So, looking at the clock and it says 9:30 pm, I realize, it will soon be bedtime and I am no longer worried about my libido, instead, I am relinquishing the excitement that stepping out today brought and the fire it ignited.

Truth be told, I dreaded writing a post today. Initially, I planned to knuckle down, after the last can of Origin, I would do dbuzz and zoom off to bed. But here I am wide eyes, no sign of being tipsy. Don't worry, I always forget I am a drunkard until I have enough alcohol that's supposed to knock me off, yet, I get the opposite...

As you can see, this isn't anything close to dbuzz. It's a full post. Even though it's a rant. I couldn't even do a post for my iskawrites account because I woke up paranoid and without any form of joy.

I would never wish sex starvation on anyone. Never! I try to cover it up by taking on more tasks throughout the day until I slum into sleep. But in the last few weeks, I can't seem to have enough to do about it. I suddenly realized there's a limit to how long I can keep who I am locked in.

So, I haven't been able to sleep well. I have tried every porn viewing in the book. But there can't ever be a replacement for the real thing, no matter how much we fool ourselves with masturbation and vibrators.

The feel. The energy. The sparks. The breaths. The vibration. The sweat. The final exhalation when all the fluids mixes up at the last moment can never be replaced.

It has to be the best thing God created, and believe me, He created some of us to want more of it, and never get tired no matter how many rounds we go.

In the last few weeks, I came to understand why rich kids do drugs. I was this close to asking for a drag or two from my friends. I just needed something to put me to bed. If you see my face, you'll see the linings that prove I haven't been able to sleep well lately.

I want it so badly that someone shouldn't tempt me because I might give in. But cheating is a crime right? Sure, I know that. So I am back to trying to fill my days with more tasks to forget how I am feeling between my legs.

Yes, I know this post makes no sense. I even forgot my quote and what I wanted to do with it... Lol. But it was supposed to be a rant right? Well, here it is! A rant!

PS: I am not really familiar with tags around porn related posts. So I'm open to corrections on this one. Thank you.

Right now, I am off to bed.

Xoxo, iska