Something I left behind.

Yesterday was one of the most beautiful days of my life and the beginning of a new chapter for me. While I sorted the things I was going back home with after the completion of National Youth Service Corps, a mandatory program for graduates here in my country, I decided to leave some things behind as usual. When I arrived here in Oyo State for my service, there were so many things I needed that weren't available at the logde, such as plastics, a bedspread, and a few others.

I thought I could manage myself, but there was a need to get these things because I detest inconveniencing myself or anybody. While packing, I left those things behind, and a few people asked why. It's simple—these items weren't necessary things to journey with, and leaving them behind would be of help to someone else.

I am not used to going about with heavy luggage or anything that would weigh me down physically or mentally, but sometimes, I find myself trying to leave something behind not because it's helping me, but because I am somehow stuck with it. Whenever I see people write about letting go so easily, I envy them because there were things I couldn't let go easily because they kept coming back. Sometimes, these things aren't there anymore but I doubt if I actually left it.

But yesterday was proof that I successfully left so many things, including the particular one that didn't look like it left. Every time I took a new step in life, self-doubt came unannounced, sometimes in human form or in my thoughts, discouraging me and making me feel like I was not enough, that I had taken the wrong step, or that I was not worthy of the success I was aiming for, but somehow, I have always managed to push myself through those doubts to achieve greatness.

My academics particularly struggled in the hands of self-doubt, and there was a time I wanted to quit, thinking I wouldn't make it through because of the challenges that came up then, but I didn't. Every step I took then was with fear and uncertainty, but I constantly reminded myself that I could do it, trying to silence self-doubt.

Until yesterday, I thought I hadn't ditched self-doubt, but seeing that one thing that was a dream to me some years ago become a reality is an assurance that self-doubt was a thing of the past, and right now, I feel motivated about the future, knowing there is nothing too big to be accomplished.